posted October 11, 2015 11:03 PM            

There's soooooo much I want (and need) to say, but my environment eats up soooo many opportunities (also my health).

I've been wanting to post more things on Pope Francis and his asteroids.
//

^ I'll get to these Pope Francis asteroids later this week, I hope ~~ God willin' and 'puter don't break! I've got medical appointments coming up this week, too (thyroid level check with that new nurse practitioner)...

The hard-drive on this computer has been making awful sounds sometimes... (I say this in case you don't see me-- I'll get in touch with Pearlty if it would be long-extended absence.) Hope it's just something simple to fix (fan?). Hasn't made that sound since I've been sitting here now, so I guess that's good!

I laughed so hard the other day when I heard Rick Levine describe "Mercury in Gemini" as being basically info-***** . (He just has a way with words that crack me up!)

With Sun in Gem and Mercury there too, with Virgo Moon to analyze the heck out of it, and Sag Asc to make me feel as though I have something to say? ... Then I admit it!!!! ah!!!! I'm an analytical philosophical info-**** !

That's why astrology and me go together so well. And besides, some people like some of the 'slutty' things I've been able to discover about the asteroids. LOL

Answer to CW is 'no', ty...

In the mean-while, I'll step back in my life. Finding a TRUE Love is freedom filling. Not binding restricting narrow dry colorless and and heavy-weighted. I am a priceless Gem to be cherished, celebrated, prized and adored for just being me existing on the face of this earth. I add to the value of anything I put my hand to. In fact... I'm going to be paid big money for me 'just' to be myself and produce, because this has value to people.

I am not a cost-center, I am a Giver and the Prize. People do enjoy my presence-- I see that on their faces and waves when they see me. I appreciated that so much today. The environment I'm in has me scared for my health (a heavy-woofer car just pulled up, and the plunks are super-deep and dark and is suddenly making me feel dizzy inside my brain... omg. That's got to be illegal to shake up property like that!!!~~ especially the insides of my skull!! sheesh... I'm going to go out and investigate WHO that is after I post this).

posted October 14, 2015 10:05 PM            

And I apologize if this post is also a mess... trying to plow through it (interferences). ---------------

Now I'm sorta glad I didn't post the other day, because I'm hearing things I almost posted. This is so encouraging, that things can still "go" for me! I want all to know that my general choice is towards the astrological spiritual/esoteric community.

Rick Levine did a description of Sun sesquisquare Neptune (for 10/15 daily at stariq.com ("Listen" button).

Since my Sun is ptolemiacly unaspected, the two 'minor' aspects I have seem to count more in a humorously-major way for me. (Sun sesqui Neptune 10th).

Rick's description was a reminder (I had forgotten this piece of information). It really explains how it is in me where I can be all ready to decide something for sure, then I go get up the face of it and it's blurry-gone like smoke-mist, omg??? Amnesia or something~~ Then I back up, and it's like awakening and saying, omg, What am I doing-- sleep walking again???

I need to know what's going on?, or I should say I'd 'like' to know.... But this is where me trusting that Others have Good in mind for me comes back.

Tim H---- omg, you are a Brilliant Dude and I respect your work and the way the Universe is using you. I've had the starts of emotional healings listening to what you have to say. I was sooooooo repressed as a child. Outward displays of anger or despair were definitely quashed. I could be all happy and bubbly, but if I was upset about something it had to be buried. Thank you (from my innerkid) for saying it's okay to get upset~~ and Live!!! No mommy to beat me for daring to be upset (literal). Very freeing, thank you again so much.

---

I saw the new doctor/nurse practitioner and had a very good experience! *huge sigh of relief* I get routine blood check on the 21st. Will order ultrasound 'for peace of mind' on my stomach area--- It's going to be sooo good once my life knows its directions for sure.

And for those medical astrologers~~ ouchie with t Mercury coming back across my MC at 2.30 Libra. It's going to be so good to get rid of that square from t Mercury to my Mars Cancer, at last. The 'hood was really bad yesterday, and seems the airport is flying big jets right over the apartment-- one after another (the earth definitely shakes in the wake after it passes by--- just an observation). When Venus was late Leo entering Virgo, it "heightened" my senses! wowww. So, it's not like just one thing, it's a confluence of things...

Had some really special cosmic perspectives I'll try to share in next day or so. (Caught a gastroenteric bug from visit to doctor?, and gotta go to bed early right now to catchup on rest. Have chills.)

Also more to say about things I've learned about self too that pertains to me 'as a person' in the natural world-- mind openers.

I was surprised by something a church friend told me on the way home today. I barely know this friend (not the Aries), but she said that people really appreciate my presence, and that I was a valuable addition to this church parish. They are so glad I am with them, adding my prayers devotion and energies with theirs.
... Guess that moves me into the spiritual profit-center column-- not a detriment. I'm not 'doing' anything else but being myself. I add to the group, just being me-- loving God, and cherishing them as Other souls who also love God.

Makes a difference.

posted October 21, 2015 01:00 AM            

I'm a Jupiter Cancer. I need the feeling of being loved and nurtured. I've spent most of my life living as 'an intellect'... I love feeling intellectual. AND, I need more emotional love and warmth and personal-care added (directly) into my life by others whom I can really trust for friendship and guidance.

to CW~~ don't let your mind get too wieldy and play mean isolative games with you. You weren't 'just thinking' -- You know that you were sensing correctly, otherwise you would have given up by now. You just didn't act. (I had contacted you several times.) ... It's okay.

(A simple courtesy of a short phone calls to exchange a few words could have saved months (even a year) of time?? This whole thing has been so ~weird??? I'm a Gemini for pete's sake! Communicate?? Have I been in a no-directcall zone?? I mean, t Neptune IS squaring my Sun, and my email gets glitched at times, but generally the ~phone still works?! Leave a message to call you back, with a time. And the postal service still delivers the snail-mail. C'mon!)

---- errr second-thought? well, with me I like to talk deep, (not shallow), and to talk about everything all-at-once. So *fair warning* after a few dance-steps, I can cut directly into the metal, and been known even to hold intense conversations a long time-- but time flies so fast-- they're thorough, and very soul satisfying, and usually end in an inspiring way.

(I have errands in the morning...) I've been posting around other threads here at LL, too.
As I've stated before, I'd like to shape this thread a little closer to topic, eventually.

Life, and Love --- They happen!

posted October 21, 2015 04:44 PM            

Oh, and greetings to my white-pajama man .

Thank you for being so positive during a time I was certain that all was lost and totally impossible.

posted October 22, 2015 05:55 PM            

Went to church this morning, and had the most curious thing happen... An elderly Pisces lady (very much a leader-- not just in the parish but in surrounding ecumenical reaches as well) made an astonishing bold comment to me. She said that small groups of people have been "talking" about me. (Asteroid Dobrynya!!!) She said that I've been the topic of conversation around various groups. They are considering me a parish "success story"... (which to me has positive connotations).
... Said that over the time I've been attending (since mid-July 2015) they have watched a transformation happening in me. My confidence levels are better, and I am accepted well and blend-in with their groups. She said sternly though, that I STILL have a long way to go.... but she wanted to compliment me. And that she encourages me to find a job because that would be mentally-important for me. It would prove something to myself. Plus would give me that more solid feeling inside that I need.

Now, I was shocked at all these impromptu sayings of hers? Then heard echoes of past astrological advices (which I really strived to try to accomplish).

You know, I try SOOOOO hard. And I can only do and go so far. And I feel the pain of falling short in so many ways?-- especially when it comes to the mundane street saavy I've been behind on to survive in this fast changing world--- makes my head blurrrr.

I have abilities that need actual-connection TO something that I can do for my physical-mental survival. (ADDING, I want to feel like I can "thrive.") I truly think that it shouldn't take too much prompting--- because I've got pretty good instincts. But I'm going to need help with that. Just 'feels' like a wide canyon to me. ... Another way, I feel like I've got a flint rock, and I keep striking the kindling, and I'm not sure exactly how it goes, but I keep trying.

But I do feel that rising in confidence (in a certain way) is valid, as the PiscesLady said. AND, I've got to find work that is interesting-- might be boring to others, but be interesting to ME.

They had suggested fast-food place? but I really don't think I'm good at handling food-- the cash yes?, and moving a coffee pot around the room, yes. The food chopping, the gravy once-spilled on a lady's mink coat, the scrubbing of those pots and pans sooo clean that they fired me for doing that job too-well and (unknowingly) stripping the "seasoning" off their pans? ~oy. (I thought it was ~dirty?? Wha???)

They suggested a janitorial job...? I love to clean, but my constitution would be too uneven to endure that. One person suggested cleaning houses, but my energy can't keep up with that anymore--- plus, I'm way too 'compulsive' when it comes to Virgo perfection of clean-freakiness. It didn't get clean-ENOUGHHHHH!! (Wake me, wake me!!)

(Another friend long-ago fended for me with someone. Frankly I was surprised at the time at her insight... Most people just say "do it"~~ but not everyone can?-- especially for the long hard term.
Had a short experience substituting as a hotel maid temporarily covering for someone for space of two weeks. OMG, it was AWFUL!!!, and my lower back felt like it was giving-out in sharp pains. It felt like GroundHog Day... and every room and fixture the same~~ ohhh wowwww, like a NeptuneNightmare~~~ I thought I just did this???? s-l-o-w moving arrghghg LOL)

And I have a limited scope of concrete vision of what I can do. I realize there are people who see talents in me that could be a huge help?

I'm not interested in being 'entrepreneurial' at this point right now, this instant. I've had some bad experiences in the past with that--- I don't go for extreme negative dog-eat-dog lying deceiving combative unethical MEAN behaviors.

With Taurus 6th House Cusp, I need stable peaceful harmonious environment, where I can do a 'good' job. With Libra MC, it's got to be fair, peaceful, basically harmonious and Beautiful.

I work very hard... I would want someone with a VERY conscious and fair soul who would watch out for me, making sure I was PAID well for what I do. I want to be Happy in my work, Happy in my Home. Long term stability, secure.

I had thought I could be a real asset because of the knowledge I have of astrology and new-age fields. I am a Sensitive Soul...

I'm relieved to perceive that some relationships are done.
(Hope always to add to your life DP if there was a favor I could ever do for you-- coz I never forget my deep Saturn-Scorpio Friends. We went through soooo much together. It was a rich personal experience which boosted each other's life. Pity there wasn't a phone call for closure-sake made last spring-- because that's why I had wanted to talk. It's NOT okay that you didn't call-- But in a very-loving generous way, It's All Okay. I wish you MUCH Joy and the Happiness you so richly deserve. Again, I posted a message to you before a couple pages ago? You seemed not to have read it back then, perhaps.)

CW I ~feel you as far as your old fears are concerned, and I have my uncertainties too. I'm sensitive to 'waffling' energies. I come also from a past of having been ripped shredded and verbally-emotionally abused by the Other that was over-the-top and prolonged. I would need more assurance that this wouldn't be the case when chips were down.
... You're a Beautiful Lightwalker. And I appreciate all the work you do for the Collective. I pray your business ventures take off with steep success.

(I may edit out a few paragraphs from this later.)

If I've had misperceptions, I'd really appreciate hearing nice constructive positive-approach feedback (pref directly). Those ladies in the parking-lot today surely surprised me with 'good' feedback about my progress (that I wasn't even aware was being assessed). They have seen growth and transformations over the past 3 months. And no one really needs to say again that I have MUCH FARTHER to go?
... I welcome ALL Kindnesses in constructive feedback to me-- I need to hear what I'm doing right, as well.

I haven't had good nurturing-experiences towards me. "Feeling" cared for unconditionally..... -- I'm already sensitive about what ALL my wrongs are.

I had a mother who could never say anything good about me-- just a fact. But I Loved her anyways. The experiences I had today were 'stern'... Even though it was 'good-stern' I still feel alone and sad, and left in the cold.

I know I'm 'not seeing' all the options, but pray fervently that someone does me the Kindness...

I Deserve Happiness and Joy, and for my life to be working for it's Highest Expression.

Song edited-in...

posted October 23, 2015 09:07 PM            

I really wish you can meet your grandchildren...

posted October 23, 2015 09:46 PM            

Yes, if I'm going to be an astrologer, I insist on being certified. So silly maybe. I don't have the instant-flair that some seem to have. It's really interesting, and it helps people. I know that it's possible to go 'too overboard' with it. There's a lot of damage that can happen if you don't have the right teacher or support doing it, imo.

(Edit ADD-- MORE important is the damage that the astrologer can do to a client! --- I'm not certain if having a full-fledged astrology business is for me? Still exploring options. I know I could support another astrologer's busy business very well with being that thorough with my knowledge... it would be like I 'know' what they're talking about, thoroughly. Learning the astrology is the 'nudge' I'm feeling to head towards right now, so that's what I put-forward, unless 'the right thing' comes along. I am a sensible person... And want to be about what God has me to do.)

There had been a local astrology club I tried to get involved with in my community back 4 or 5 years ago-- but they were a 'political' group, and even though they tried to have everyone included, they were WAY WAY extremist-righties. ~oy. They laughed at me (but kindly) when I pulled out Joe Biden's chart in the group. I never went back, out of politeness.... I like politics, but more balanced.

There was someone else recently who started a class, and I went-- but SHE was also VERY political-right, 'making up her own information' in order to draw up charts? *jawdrop* You can't be "accurate" if you're just making up the data?? (I insist!) And, the town I live in is DEFINITELY "Leo" with a Libra rising energy, and not a Cancer as she insisted. *sigh* No way.

My grandchildren.... Maybe on the other side of Heaven. So heart-heavy sad... the whole thing.

I had an idea about vocational... And I don't think we've "seen" what some of the future-jobs are going to be.

I want to concentrate on nailing the bones, being able to turn around and 'teach it' to a small group, would be my criteria of being ready.

Art and therapy were yours, dear Ayelet? Yes, they DO co-exist. There are schools to learn to be an art therapist. Even work around older people to help them. And you are great at words, with poetry!

I definitely can see forming small therapy-type groups around astrology, too. My learning astrology has done more for me than any botched therapy I tried to have in the past. They just never understood what I was about... And I did more therapy on THEM, than they with me. ~ sheesh, go figure, and THEY got paid for it, right?

We BOTH were thinking of each other at the "same" time, because I had bumped your most recent poem! We've got E.S.P. I'll meet you at your poem

A song I had left...

(music) Bless The Beasts and The Children (The Carpenters) [3:06] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhR36gV6vW4

posted October 29, 2015 05:29 PM            

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