posted October 12, 2016 01:43 PM            

Actually, there were two emails generated at the same time because I had CC'd his gmail. That's the one that bounced. I have no idea what yahoomail did with the original. ... Gosh, I hope I didn't embarrass him, because later it dawned on me that my (almost-personal) note was posted on a site where people had access from all over the world. I hope that if he were to find it (posted to everyone, like his colleague did), that he would have the ability to take it down. I still don't know all the nuances behind websites and emails and posts and ~whatevers? He will have to handle my ~whatever. ... He's probably not in this country, and probably just wanting to settle into life... approaching his 2nd Saturn Return (when it's ON my NN). That's a time of tying the bow on what you've done in your life, and getting ready to retire on whatever you've built for yourself in life.

I realized more fully as I woke up this morning, how "dissolved" my core-nugget family became, at the death of my paternal-grandfather, also a 0+ Taurus.... It was very very very slow, but the whole family generations seemed to have peaked at that point.

I was the eldest child born in that generation, on BOTH my mother and father's side. (And, the only female.) I feel fortunate that I got to see "the last of it"-- The radiant warmth and Joy of being a tightly-knit Loving family who REALLY truly DID enjoyed each other's company (for the most part! LOL).

My Scorpio pat.grandmother was soooo incredibly witty, humorous AND political, AND quite Libra-fair and balancing. People looked to her wisdoms and opinions. She had a merry laugh, like pearls~~ which fall on top of a luxurious grand piano...

My dad was 'the last-born' of my paternal grandfather's progeny. (My dad was the one with the Sun-Jupiter Partile Conjunction Scorpio 3+, with Venus 28+ Libra conjunct.) My dad was the charming Host-With-The-Most!... He was very very good at relating to anybody he met-- Had been on Goodwill Missions for the military, going into foreign nations... His work-friends related that my dad did MORE for local-relations in foreign nations that probably the official diplomats. He had a good effect on people.

He would have made a good interviewer and host of a show. He was able to make history come alive. I remember parties and gatherings where he could get the quiet people to begin to talk about the most INTERESTING topics. The 'hidden' things that were soooo very very rich about their own personal life. (~heh? That's the Scorp for you?? LOL. And with his Venus in Libra...? Oh!!! How I love the astrological-thoughts of that.)

Another set of thoughts for me this morning.... has to do with my own spirituality? ... I recalled moments in my life (showers are amazing!!! LOL), where I had made some pretty-pure Soul Decisions as a youth, then as an early 20s, where it was powerfully moved in me, and shifted in me, that I am a Spiritual Being living in a human condition. I had set (maybe unconsciously, as I didn't 'know' astrology, but followed the leads... I would guess, of Spirit)... I had set ENERGETIC Values (soul), and, for the rest of my days, I Walked in it. I can't separate (for long) being a Spiritual person from a carnal one. There's a Soul Default that lines itself back into a Center... and if I stray from that too long, there's a degradation that happens. I'm not sure what is involved with that... All I know is that 'it' feels pretty bad and maintains miserableness UNTIL I Come Back To InnerCode. ... I call my Higher Power God. And I LOVE GOD soooo much.

In my journey, I learned that there's something in life that happens to you when you toggle "religious" practice INTO one of a realized-one.

You've heard of Sunday-Christians? ... The ones who go to church (temple, synagogues, ~whatevers) and they are able to 'compartmentalize' their beliefs ONLY in-the-box. It doesn't matter to them that they can lie, cheat, steal from people OUTSIDE their "religious" community. The rules only apply if a church-peer is watching, or, maybe if they're in church. They haven't "owned" what Good their is available to them.... I'm NOT speaking of dogmatic (even HATEFUL, hurtful) rules... I'm applying to Spirit-ruled INNERcodes, an InnerBeacon, that is or can be continually 'fed' through whatever means the Spirit (of GOD) Wills.

The closer I am in Alignment, the more I can see, in the most MUNDANE thing, what God wants to say.... And I want to Believe that that is possible for everyone, but I don't know about those kinds of things. All I know is what IS for myself.

God is INFUSED and impregnating ALL of the things on the earth. We are Soaked in GOD, at all times. .... Like some folks say, you are your own guru, teachers-- and until it 'catches' for your self, it is Good when you find people or ways that help jump-start and awaken that to you. There are different ways that Spirit picks-the-lock. Once you've Opened the Correct Door that matches you, you are your own agent... and you walk jointly AND in parallel with others. Lots of input from others, but the downloads that you personally do with GOD are Golden, and unmistakably unquestionably True.

I've had folks who mention The Bible.... There is something that can 'happen' to you spiritually, that OPENS the wisdoms that are found. It's NOT the 'literal words'... it's the Spirit-Inspirations that happen as you take in the words. In my experience, this Spirit-Infusion and Inspiration 'continues' and OTHER things you read can also 'ping' and you'll know it's Spirit, or its spirit.

There's a Higher Ping and Ring to Truth, and the duller more confusing smaller truths. The smaller truths can be like seeds.. Once that seed cover is cracked open, and starts to grow for you, then you can decide how nutritious or not it is to you. Different people have different 'nutrition' needs at different Times of their life.

Eat what helps you feel nutritioned, and know what tastebuds are being stimulated when you partake of other foods which may be 'empty' for you.... Eat to Live, rather than, Live to Eat? ... Oh ~blehhh, I'm not exactly sure how that can be taken by some? LOL.

Admitting it... I'm a GOD Gourmand!! And I WISH being a Breatharian was a REAL and healthy option.... because food doesn't really interest me the way it interests other people.

I remember how 'rewarding' food was for my Mat.GM(Libra) and other members of my family-- I have memories of just 'watching' them, and feeling how bizarre that was that their mouths and tongues and eyes lit-up like that when they ate. Even rm is WAY into food.

Me?, take it or leave it. (I eat whatever won't make me sick.) You HAVE to eat to stay alive.

I think a part of me has always found it to be a TOTAL waste of time, including having to use the bathroom as a direct consequence of needing to eat??? (haha, ready for a futuristic spirit-body?!)

haha...
I happened to catch Anderson Cooper ('~love'!!!) this morning (on Live Kelley) as rm left the building and I reached to shut off my TV.
... I found myself agreeing with him!!!

FOOD. It's just soooo '~temporary'... Like a drug, you keep needing another hit every clump of hours that goes by. LOL.

He also mentioned clothing.... I can be a clothes horse IF I have mega-finances for it, because I have 'good taste' in clothing. I LOVE Quality, and Quality will outlast a whole lot of little shoppings to buy lower quality things that might not look nice anyway. .... I recall as a kid in parochial school, I LOVED not having to Decide what to wear. In fact for a while in junior high, I was wearing my same favorite dress to school for a month-straight, until even my teachers started to make comments (like, complain). I saw my father put on a pair of olive fatigues every single day, and, I loved that color. ... As long as the outfit 'looked wow' on me?, I think I could wear it as a uniform every day.... haha. I don't really know what part of my astro chart would FIT that??... But, it's one extreme (quality, clothes horse) or the other (uniform). Laughing.

Reminds me of this scripture....
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
-- Philippians 4:11-13 NIV
(ref BibleGateway)

*ahem* Anyways... way off topic here.... *slugs another sip of leftover cold cup of coffee*

(Gotta go eat some lunch after this, and continue some chores, and remember to leave the post I was gonna do yesterday night.)

So!!! Today is Luciano Pavarotti's Birthday...

And what a coincidence it is, that I mentioned my bro2 the other day. My bro2, while working and residing in Europe got to sing in front of Pavarotti during a masterclass. Now, How Cool is That?!! LOL
http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Pavarotti,_Luciano

Rest in Peace..... Thanking God for the Gift.
Thanking God for The Music that ENRICHENS my Soul.

(music) Nessun Dorma (Pavarotti 1994, lyrics, transl lyrics in yt comments below) [3:19] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTFUM4Uh_6Y

Edit ADD --- I notice some of my writing is rough above. And autocorrect wrong-corrected some articles of speech.

Adding the translated words, provided by yt commenter Boaty Gatling. The words are sooo Beautiful!

PAVAROTTI -
None shall sleep! None shall sleep!
Not even you, oh Princess,
in your cold bedroom,
watching the stars
that tremble with love and with hope!

But my secret is hidden within me;
no one will know my name!
No, no! On your mouth
I will say it when the light shines!

And my kiss will dissolve
the silence that makes you mine! -

CHORUS-
No one will know his name,
and we will have to, alas, die, die! -

posted October 14, 2016 04:44 PM            

There is very heavy oppression right now (sonically) in the air here at home...

I'm afraid I feel as though I'm shouting at people today, even though you may not hear it. My gizzards are quaking seated at this keyboard today!!

So, because I am not able to sufficiently concentrate on what I'm doing-- and I'm finding myself gulping-air right now... I'm only going to resort to 'safer' posts!

Too easy to be misconstrued...
People overly sensitive....

I know there's a lot going on--- especially in politics---, that have people soooo agitated. I want to apply my Understanding TO that situation right now.

(Wow... Even when I just read the sentences I typed--- There are all kinds of ways to 'take' it, depending on the energy you choose to project into it. That's been going on for the past week, I think. ... )

The Gossip asteroid placement I have natally is in Libra at 9+ degrees. tJupiter is coming in range of that now, in Libra, as it trines my Sun.

tMercury Libra just passed it, and was conjunct----- Look at what's happening with all the rumors and expose's in the news right now.

This Gossip asteroid has been VERY VERY prominent. For Hillary Clinton, it is placed natally in Libra at 7+ (where tJupiter is now). ... Bill Clinton has tGossip asteroid crossing his Libra Ascendant... and making contacts to all his planets there in first degrees of his first house (image).

(J.Angel... I wrote you about that one maybe more than a year ago now! Have you been watching its effects?)

-- You can use it with certain client's charts.

Even Chelsea Clinton gave birth recently with that one in EXACT conjunction in her natal. *heart* I noticed it effective also to H3, H7 transits too. ... Those are the natural air houses right? ... Then, I would maybe expect the Aquarius energy houses too.. or, aspecting rulers? ...

{But wait a minute?, I think I already did a post about that on previous pages of this thread.... so I shouldn't keep repeating.}

The Gossip asteroid is NOW at 15.14 Libra. Moving more quickly now at speed 28'+... But it IS part of the dynamics of the squares to tMars-Pluto 11+,15+ Capricorn going on WITH the Full Moon too, in Aries, as opposition-aspect.

SEAT BELTS, Fastened???? LOL

~oy... I should get off the computer right now. Go take a long walk, a long break. .. Rm home right now, too, so, I'll see if he wants to accompany me.

The post I had wanted to do the other day, had to do with the Elections, and things going on with it. During my walks, I found myself feeling so deeply sad about all the things going on-- so many hurtful things in politics.

I found myself in an attitude of Prayer and Intercessions FOR all parties involved, and the Healing we need. We are AMERICANS. Not just Dems, or Reps, or Greens, or ~whatever the trend-names are changed to now...

We ARE sentient Human Beings, We ARE Americans....

I am sooooo grieved (actually), and I felt a corporate shame for the behaviors in American Politics right now. I feel shame for how we appear to other people in foreign lands, and even for our children--- Please forgive us.

Yes, I AM Idealist. I AM nostalgic. I AM a STRONG BELIEVER in The Possibility of USA to Pass This Test---- This can 'become' the America we all Dream to See.

.... And my spirit mourns and is grieved, right now, over this.

I sent out strong prayers and deep soul intercessions all that day...

God Save our Nation from Ultimate Destruction.
Bring her to Goodness, Goodwill, and Light.
Please Don't Let The Dream Die....

(song) Bless All Nations... Heal All Nations (see previous pages)

Bless every facet, every faction, every layer, every cross-mixing of layers;

Peace for Every Turmoil in Foreign Nations and The Waterways-----

God! Uphold the Power of Love and Light, of Good Intention, of Kindness and Peace---

God Shed His Grace On Thee!!
And Crown Our Good with Brotherhood,/Sisterhood,
From Sea to Shining Sea... {lyrics}
FOR EVERY NATION, Inclusive!!!!!

Make us MIGHTY within Lord, and Mighty to Do Good without...

May we all take private responsibility to Do Battles-Within for the Peace to resonate and Prosper ALL Souls, everywhere.

*Angel* Heal Us Lord--- Bind Us Together, In Love.

posted October 15, 2016 11:58 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
I, too, believe in this country.

---

Gently... I know, Randall. I know you do... {{ }}

I watched Bill Maher the other night... and at the end of the show there was a breakout of emotions and conversations that was some of the most-real I'd ever heard.... ..... .... Everything, seemed so clear. So arrested. So separated. So "there"... The passion of truths, all spilled out around that table. And there just was ... 'a moment'.

I went away seeing how 'real' all the points of view were. Really real. .... And how very divided we are 'as a people'.

Gently, has the experiment worked?....

Softly here.... This is a form of government that takes MUCH maturity and cooperation in order to function for all. So much flexibility is needed... so much mutableness, taking turns at things, learning from one another what feels good, feels right... and what doesn't.

USA SagAsc, has tSaturn on its Ascendant now, finally shifted INTO the 1st House once more. Her Progressed MC/IC are at last degrees of Taurus, Scorpio. 29-Scorpio is a very significant degree for USA. It's the Kennedy-degree...... in P'4th. ... By next year, she will have 0-Gem/0-Sag Progressed.... shift of energies.

There was a moment I briefly remembered a really crude joke I'd heard once... There was a woman in a dentist chair, and a male dentist was about to drill into her tooth. Suddenly the dentist goes, 'Ma'm!!! You have a hold of my testicles!!' ... To which she responded, 'Now, ... We're NOT going to HURT one-another, Are we????'

I'm actually feeling quite sad right now about all that's going on... So, I'm not really laughing or having a good time (with the joke)....

What I want to emphasize instead.... is that in a way, we ALL are gripping or holding onto each other's Heart in this country, with the elections...... Whose Heart are you Holding??? Whose Heart can you cause soooo much pain to??, or Just Hold, tenderly, and say.... I know you Hurt... and I Care.

America is already great.... because She Has Heart. We Hold Each Other, in Each Other's Hands.... Care Gently. Care with Wisdom. Care with Great Power to Make Whole.

Squeezing, and Releasing. Squeezing, and Releasing... Are the Dynamics behind a HEALTHY Beautiful Beating Heart.

*Weeping....* {{{ }}

"Our" Life, is in your hands in this election. Vote, with Great Care and Love.

posted October 17, 2016 01:08 PM            

With a Spirit of Excellence at work within her People. May God and All The Benevolent Forces be With Her.

And, be with our Aging (and dying) Population who Remember Her Specialness, The Special Years.... Youth has no idea what she used to have working for her. We can do without the problems with discriminations that happened during those times (extreme discriminations against women, violence towards minorities, etc). But it was a more Peaceful time for having a family, and a more slowed-down time for enjoying them. ... The advent of the internet has soooo many blessings, but then too, added Curse. ... What a Mess we collectively are in because of this now. It's out of our hands.

I love this song... and, I imagine doing a vid all about Our America with it.

{{I'm sorry.... I've had the electro days from Kryptonite Flaming Hell here... and I can barely think or deal with myself right now. Sonics have been sooooo painfully *HOT*... I am reduced to hunkering-mode, and live and exist in a minute-to-minute survival sometimes... I just reward myself, clumps of minutes at a time. ~Extremely wearied at this time. ~oy, kept me up last night too.}}}

I checked around at posts... Wanted to respond, but, I've just got to SELF-CARE today, especially after these past two days. I do 'what' I can, with what I have.

When my earnerves are being drilled, and my body shaken on the inside by outside forces-- I can hardly deal with myself. (I look really terrible right now... haha, won't need a costume for Halloween-- I look like the zombie-apocalypse today, all yukky cruddy and just paste-y... ~oy. Like, I don't want to be seen even in public like this.
.. I'm going to try to sift through and organize more stuff... Ugh. I hate stuff! It just all looks so gross!!, like I want to toss everything out--- but then, you NEED some 'stuff' for house-holding, and covering your bod!! I wish I could 'define' in detail what I'm going to do, because that would make the possible dumping of groups of things soooooo much easier of a task, even somewhat pleasurable if I'm not thinking and attached to the History behind some things, some journals, etc.)

{{{written during a quieter spell here}}
I think I heard some females saying they had been computer-programmers in the past! I caught your ping.... It would be soooo cool to explore that computer-app idea I had had, for sure. ... Like I said before, SOMETIMES, I have had some REALLY good ideas (in my lifetime). Had they been worked on before, they could have amounted to something. And (I don't want to repeat too much here.. so I'll stop me from going too far with this) some of those ideas I had had are being implemented today in many layers and ways.
... A part of me... would be sooo pleased if this could become a project for (primarily) women innovators, and women overseas.
... I wouldn't have kept coming back to this, but, there MAY 'be' something 'to' my idea, since it keeps popping its head up.
... So, I guess there's a part of that that won't let me rest it yet.

I was very into women's issues in my college days.... (Pluto Uranus). Just, wouldn't it be soooo Cool, if Women were behind this Humanitarian (tiny-small, yet so Giant) type of a project. ..... I had wanted to accomplish (have it set up) BY the time the travelling North Node enters LEO, then moves over around 25 degrees LEO. (Part of that is because of what I see with USA chart... but, I don't know how that would affect something potentially International-members ~involved?)
{{end of quieter spell of time now... oh nooooo}}

I swing between the extremes of feeling soooo crud, then feeling so possible.

When under crud? ... you don't want to 'experience' the things I imagine. They are terrible. And if you're an empath, you would be repulsed, and run away screaming when that happens.

When I'm under possibility and blessing, (Kryptonite removed), I feel so WHOLESOME, and I want to tackle my future with joy and great imaginings.

The other day, I talked about my father having a good influence on people.... I do that too.

When I'm not under siege, and needing to self-defend against my sense-environment, I can explore. Instead today, I *hunker*... (Although right AT this Moment, everything just smoooothed itself. What a Difference in me when the environment works to support, as opposed to me needing to just grab-myself and pray I get through it.)

(music) When WE Shine... WE Shine So Bright (Sheena Easton) [3:48] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONZS4z1TTKk

**sorry this post is a mess.... but it IS as it is. It's better for me to TRY than not to at all... my time is limited here on earth, depending on 'what happens' or doesn't for me here...**

posted October 18, 2016 12:38 AM            

May Angels surround you with Comfort, and Loving Care during this terrible time of Loss.

posted October 18, 2016 11:00 AM            

Rm was able to book a flight to be with his family for thanksgiving. He found money that they government owed him. H8 (tPluto-Mars to enter his 8th House.

.... He and Pearlty have the same GemAsc degree. In the past, when Pearlty had lost significant people in her life, so did rm....

So, what kept me awake last night was not partiers and shrieking compressors outside my window... but Death. Death kept me awake...

Life is so fascinating... Death is so Real. You can have a birth in the family, but it's not like when Death pays a visit.... Then, you REALLY know who you are.

Pearlty has been through soooo much these past few years.

Pearlty, I went out into the moonlight last night... The same Full Moon Aries energy, and the Taurus Moon that your dear brother passed from. I just spent a lot of time in the night last night... Moonshadows. It was called the Hunter's Moon. So bright....

I 'hold space' with you, dear one.

My my... turning my head makes the world spin 'round, physically, and in many ways.

(music) Going Home (Dvorcak's Largo, instrumental) [3:02] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnSOYavRa0g

posted October 18, 2016 01:02 PM            

I had planned a whole other day today (in town), that got interfered with (vertigo). I don't know if it's my transits, but, everything seems to blur-merge together where I can't tell if it's me, or my environment, or both! (~zenny! LOL) ... Not complaining here, just being really really real.... And feeling so alone must be tBML coming into conjunction with my asteroid Alona-- besides other real happenings (rm).

(Rm has finished his gnarly beginning-elder transits and now I'm seeing him break open into some REALLY amazing skies for him. HE teaches ME astrology by my hardly saying things to him (except when he needs anger-management cues from me)... He flows now, and can hardly wait to retire and relocate near his family, and be with his old high-school pals again.)

I will keep the faith and not lose hope (as so many general readings have said).

And with tMoon in Gemini now, and tVenus in Sagittarius... I will 'use' that energy to lift my Heart, and lift my spirits.

The other day in the taxi again (coming home from grocery shopping with rm), I correctly guessed the taxi-driver's sign... by looking at his right arm, right-side of face and neck and skin, and the 'general' feeling I had.

I asked him, Are you a LEO? (I was thinking either Leo or Virgo again.) He said Aug 22! ... omg, he could have been a cusper and been Both!, or could have been born in a leap year ... Scores Again!! *ding ding*

posted October 18, 2016 08:28 PM            

Interpersonal Forum...
Topic:  Ladies, where is Jupiter in your chart? (Page 2)
{My ex1 Jupiter H8 story} http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/006067-2.html

Divine Diversities Forum...
Topic: Fascinating story of George Price (Page 1, and Page 2)
{Some challenges from the past-- in earlier 2000s} http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum21/HTML/000791.html

Health and Healing Forum...
{for MY own ref here}
Topic: I'm Stoned (haha, omg, love that title, ref Rocks/Gems/Minerals)
Conversations with the Beautiful Venus2tinkerbell... http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/003499.html

Health and Healing Forum...
Topic: Operating at a low vibration?
Conversations with Sulkyarcher and Ayelet..
{Some of the night dreams I've had in past week, new for me} http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/003469-3.html

With the last ref I linked here, I had discussed that this past week, I started remembering my night dreams again... wow. (Except, the past two nights).

Overcoming Fears.....

One of the things I want to relay is that I had a dream that showed me some residual fears that I was overcoming that I had no idea had been still lurking under the fascia as 'an issue' for me.

Background..... I had told the story (past page I think) of being a young girl, swinging on porch swing singing my Heart out so relaxed and happy with my pat.Grandmother there with me (until she interrupted).

One of the things she consistently did was to compare me to my Mother who (considered 'spoiled' by her two older sisters) could do no wrong-- She was always better, prettier, etc.

And my mom herself, was so demoralizing with me in my youth and teens-- telling me I was ugly, etc. (I grew up feeling so ugly.)

She told me much later in life that I had been a beautiful small child, and people would pay me compliments-- Her rationality was that she didn't want me to grow up "vain" in life... so, she would negatively criticize me, or never say a word if I asked.

Another aside... I want to remind about the story of a woman friend of mine who worked as an artist, and became a harpist. (She was self-taught, until a mentor discovered her and took her on as a student).

We were graduating from a self-growth (shadow work) program... (late 1970s). One of the challenges of the course was that you had to go do something you were very afraid to do.

She knew I was afraid of performing in front of people, as was she... So, one afternoon she borrowed the church sanctuary she belonged to-- (a really gorgeous place made of wood and cathedral-type open ceilings, with a window-wall that opened out in a grove of trees). We were "just" going to experiment, she does rifs on the harp, and I do vocals. We did improvs. She had brought a very simple cassette recorder with her, and, we recorded some of the sounds we were making. (We met for two other sessions, the third, in front of a live audience-- nearby nursing-home.)

She happened to also bring a briefcase with some sheet music to our sessions. One song she pulled out, was a song that my mother used to sing, actually. (My father and my mother were musical people, and even had entertained on radio as a duo when they were very young and dating in early 1950s.)

I had SUCH trepidations... just "thinking" that I POSSIBLY could sing that song.

But we were "just" experimenting with singing and playing in front of each other! That was our Goal. Hahaha, that was OUR way of fulfilling the assignment. Two chickens, being chickens Together. Ignoring all clunks and mistakes to be made.... just to fulfill the assignment.

She began the harp intro... and OMG, it was sooo Beautiful. The echo in the church was like singing in the shower?, only Way-BETTER! haha

She presented the tape to the Advisors of the program as our 'proof'... and I was SHOCKED when they actually PLAYED the tape during our graduation party. (Mortified!!! oh gosh). Afterwards, there were people at the party who WERE classically trained professionals, and they told me I had actual talent.... (LOL, I'm still nervous thinking about that.... and sorta miffed at my friend.)

I feel very confident singing in a small group of singers, but solos were scary.
(I still own this recording we did on the cassette tape. Probably a lot of old gunk on that tape, from how old it is? ...
There's a Christmas Song I sang on it, that I'm actually going to say that I AM proud of??? LOL.
If I had a way of putting it on electronic audio and linking it here, I would.
... It was harp accompaniment, and I was singing 'What Child Is This?' aka Greensleeves. Love that medieval sound with harps and stringed instruments.)

So! .... back to the dream.... The song my mother used to do, that I was soooo frightened to try....

The music was playing in the dream but didn't recognize it until after I had awakened.

And I remembered later how my father told my bro2 that he needed to listen to me sing that song... (He did, and my mother overheard it... oh no. My mother completely black-scorched herself under her skin, and she REFUSED from that day on EVER sing that song again.... *just the way it was with her*)

Why?.... It was 'just' a recording.

Something I had done while I lived on the opposite coast of the country, a decade before. But I had indeed performed it (first time ever), and the result was remarkable. I could actually sing it, and sing it well. Surprised myself. ... honestly, truly, and innocently....

And in the course of the day..... the meanings of the dream unraveled themselves. ... I REALIZED.... I was working with the admonition (conditioning) given me (and set by my unconscious/subconscious) that I wasn't 'allowed' to BE Better than her.

And in extension.... to be Better than a man or a boy.
Or to be more competent than someone with a title that was set in a position/role more elevated than mine...
Or (in the monastery) to know more than the person I was 'under'. ..... .....

Fears... are more than "just" the things you 'think' and worry about. It's CELLULAR. It soaks into you, into me, through things that occurred 'on purpose,' or by mere accident, through the processes of Growing Up in this world.

When I deeply thought about it, that morning last week, IN the dream... I didn't feel the sting I would have felt. I was just Better, ... and Owning it without having to 'think' about it.

Now THAT's blessed Progress!!! ... Thanking God, for Dreams and for Healings.

Imagine a harp accompaniment with this... (scratchy audio, btw)

(music) Lullaby ..(Berceuse, from Jocelyn by Benjamin Godard)

{{didn't like the recording, so I removed it}}

posted October 19, 2016 05:29 PM            

I might stick to following some advice I think I'd heard recently... I have too many personal-things and stories here, including all my own work.

Sometimes I think about leaving LL for a while... and, I get various mixed feelings about that.

What I want ... is to be Happy, and settled-in somewhere for a really really long and hopefully new-life establishing run.

I have soooo much to give... I don't want to give up.

{{Oh ~~ giving up. My 'bamacell does not work. I called my own number and it diverts immediately to voicemail. I can't access messages. My landline still works as long as cable stays up. I started feeling better today, and tomorrow may go down to the senior center, or somewhere, to see if someone can help fix my phone.
... I also had an excellent youtube type idea that rm thinks might be worthy sharing with voting league here.}}

posted October 20, 2016 02:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
I also like reading your stuff.

---

Really??? That's so nice of you to say. {I really needed to hear that today .}

Thanks.

posted October 22, 2016 11:50 AM            

I thrive in the 'water'.... I have a mentally very active and pushing part of me. But my REAL Value is the water... the waters that nourish and inspire.

The human body is made up of water, and all the nutrients flow while there's water there.

The thoughts and feelings I was having concerned 'why' I hadn't been contacted for all these years.... I had (and have) so much to give. And what I was treated with was physical exclusion. I could 'watch' but not be an actual recipient. I could make an inspirational input, but, without receiving inclusion on things. It feels so disrespectful right now...

I did some light investigating into patents and the things involved with patenting computer software ideas.

And today... I feel that shifting of energies, and I'm soaking in it.

I hear some people say for me to go ahead and follow through on this idea "by myself." This would be the one that involved and engaged women in a project effort to implement the idea I've held for several years now. Actually, this should have been implemented AT the time the idea 'happened'... but my eyes were more on giving-away my idea to other people, at the time. I see now (by news in retrospect) how apropos it would have been... and the (business) opportunity WOULD have made a PERFECT meld with it, right now (actually, then).

I have to recoup and regather myself... To OWN and establish within myself more of who I am, and to recognize (in my Lifetime) what Value I have brought teams and partners and marriages in my life. Life ... is on a Time-constraint for me anymore. And I have to decide how I want to proceed with it. And who to share myself with, or not-share my treasures to.

It's like what an old pastor I had decades ago used to say from the pulpit--- You can't give what you don't have. (I think he was quoting someone else...)

And THAT CONTRAST this morning gave me a Gift, once more. I know and feel what I bring to the world.... The people I have been giving sooo much attention to don't (perhaps) have that same capacity inside themselves. That's why they didn't understand the idea that came to ME.

I watched a long video advertisement the other day on a musical that is about to tour my country and the world. It's based on a Japanese idealistic story and hero.

But what this troupe HAS done, is to implement spiritual practices to 'bring out the Beauty', the TRUE Beauty INSIDE each performer in order to showcase with a hyper-spiritual resonance, an almost-palpable seeable Auric Beauty of it on the stage...

You can't give what you don't already have... what you cannot truly digest and own within yourself.

Last winter, I had stumbled on some Sting music, where this musician and individual, was able to go back to medieval music, and Capture and RE-Present the bones and the spirit of this music in an INCREDIBLY Powerful way for Today's youth and Society at large who are THIRSTING for something of REAL Substance in their lives....

I read a youtube comment the other day where one person was saying 'how lucky' my generation was to have grown up with the kind of Substance and Soul that FEEDS the spirit and soul of a person. (My interpolation of their words there).

Just because people can put notes together, or scripts together, or make a picture, doesn't automatically mean that it is truly a thing of Beauty and Inspiration.

I LOVE watching the music and talent contests on TV, and watching the Coaches. Yes, there is talent, and talents can be honed. But THEN.... There comes a individual who can KNOCK that performance OUT of the park. It's unmistakable Blessing. GodBlessed and Annointed INBORN Talent. They have Substance in their substance....

In my own small way... today, I recognize my own talent and ability. I Create Atmospheres.

I provide Inspiration and Substance to substances that are already there. I find uses for talents that aren't really being used in their Best way..... perhaps.

So... I am in a cycle where I evaluate right now the way I have been treated. How good or not good it has been that I have interjected my talents into other people's lives who don't and haven't appreciated what I had the ability to bring them.

I don't like it when people put me down.... without even having substantively tried to actually know me, as a real person. There are a lot of ways to interpret a chart... It takes a Human to know another Human. It takes a Human to 'feel' empathy for another sentient Human...

It takes a Village... to bring elements together at a RoundTable with Honor, and Truth, and Excellence at its core....

God...
Create in ME a Right and an Excellent Spirit
And Renew The Face of The Earth with These who are Like me, Like us...
In Spirit, and spirit, and In Truth.

I bring Home into a House.
I create Belonging to a group or collection of groups.
I see and find Ideas in individually scattered ideas.
I see and draw out the Inspiration within a collection of notes memes and hash.

I might not be all-that.... I don't have money to afford things. Actually, money is empty. It is devoid of meaning anything, really. It can extend life for a while, then the next while, and the next. And money can go just as easily as it comes. It is inert. It is an object. Cold.

What is life, without someone you can share it with on a DEEP level. What is life and love, without someone meaningful and Understanding, who wants to ravish your Soul and mind, and BE more than just a body... to be eventually discarded in death.

I've heard through certain precious vidders that this is a time of attracting one's True Love and TRUE Soulmate.

I want to be surrounded by people who Treasure me, and Cherish and Understand me. Who won't demand too much, because I already demand too much of my own self.

I need to be able to Flow in life. To be Supported and supported in a material way for it.

I might not quite know how to do that for myself. There's a gap in there somewhere that I haven't been able to bridge yet.

But I know my Value.... And I See other people's Value.

Lord.... Please bring this, to ME.

I am a Good Thing to be Found... {scripture}

(music) A House Is Not A Home (Bacharach, Beautifully Expressed by Trijntje Oosterhuis) [4:10] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiCMuRTRzmg

Sting.... Understands with such Amazing Clarity and Soul Infused and Interpreted in his works of Art.

posted October 22, 2016 12:41 PM            

Thank you for recognizing me.

At this point, I don't even know if pursuing that notion I've had can bring ME any good. I feel as though if I were to share it, I would just get ripped-off again-- same that had happened before.

It's been hard sitting on that idea for this long. ... And, I had warned that I would probably keep bringing it back up a few times whenever I see confirmations that the idea had been Right all along.

Maybe it's just time for a Change, and to abandon that idea.

Find something new, that will make up for the time that was Stolen from me. Bring me back dignity and Health that I need... Not ready to die. {I've heard some ugly notions about that from some persons.... ugh.}

Life is Valuable. Life needs to be Cherished and Protected and Preserved and Nurtured.

Life--- so short, yet soooo long. Depends on how hot your stove is, or who you're sitting with??? {haha, old joke}

I'm an Inspirational Muse.

Playing this song, 'just because I Like it', no other meaning than that, than to say....

'Because I Can Dance to it?!' {{ref Dick Clark and American Bandstand responses from teens as to 'why' they enjoyed and voted for an artist}}

.... To Better Days for ALL Humankind!

Dancing to the Beats of a Kinder Drum!

posted October 24, 2016 10:54 AM            

Oh. Almost forgot... I went to my local metaphysical shop the other day to purchase a piece of Blue Lace Agate to add to my healing and decorative necklace-piece collection.

Since I knew the proprietress makes her own jewelry there, I remembered to bring along a Rose Quartz long necklace I recently discovered I had. Bought that in the late 1970s/early 1980s? It was always too long... I used to scrunch-up the bottom part of the length with some wire (green twist-tie) to form it into a kind of impressionistic opening-Rose that lay over my Heart.

I'd recently begun to wear that again, but, one of the ends on the nylon thread running through all the small pebbles was sticking out and jabbing into my neck at the clasp. I took it with me to the store to see if the Lady could fuse or tuck that end-piece of nylon in some way so it wouldn't bother me.

So, while I was discussing that with her, she said she wouldn't mind giving me a new thread for the quartz pebbles; then she'd fasten the clasp on it for me for free. Estimated that it would take about 20 minutes for me to re-thread all those small pebbles, and she offered that she could make a little bracelet with the left-over beads if I chose to shorten the necklace.

At that point, someone in the store spoke up...

She had worked there a few-plus years ago, and remembered that I had done her astrology chart for her.

I remembered her..... as being endeared to Ganesh (Hindu elephant god, who represents obstacle removers). At the time I met her, I told her there was an asteroid for Ganesh, and as a surprise I had kindly printed a chart for her with her name asteroid and the Ganesh asteroid together on it. She loved it.... but then, I hadn't seen her anymore.

She stepped forward and offered to pay the proprietress FOR her work, offered to do the labor of restringing my quartz beads, and that she could fashion a Rose Medallion to hang from the shortened necklace. She mumbled the words "Pay It Forward"... This was in gratitude for my having done her chart (and never thought to charge her for that).

I accepted her Kindness, and entrusted my Rose Quartz to her....

That's when I thought about the astrology of the moment, and I realized right then, that the transiting Moon had ~just crossed from late Cancer into LEO, where her name asteroid is represented in the first whole degree of Leo in my natal chart. ... My own Ganesh asteroid is 27 Scorpio (H12), which trines my Jupiter Cancer H8.

God Is Love... And God is Sooo Loving and Kind to me.

He Treasures me. He makes sure that I am always Provided for. I am Cherished and Loved, within and without....

(music) Great Is Your Mercy (Donnie McClurkin, live) [8:05] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKeTQ1ZHqgA

Yank me up, Scotty!!!
Transporter Beam Not Working... *ahem* I heard it got hacked?!

Have a Beautiful Day and a Great Week, Everyone!

Blessings on the 'net 'hood'!!! ROF, LOL

posted October 24, 2016 04:04 PM            

I've been looking around LL a bit, and the LL chart (it's going to be her Solar birthday on November 3, at 7:27:26 am in Atlanta GA time).

Also, I've looked at the LL Chart, and there's something pretty mean ~or~ powerful good coming up for us, especially during the week of the USA elections.... To sum it?? We've got some DYNAMIC Energy for us in the sky right now.

You KNOW my Heart, Randall. I like and can tolerate a lot of discord. I like to bring Peace to situations (after I have to calm down, sometimes, LOL). I can tolerate maybe more than some...

I Believe in Tolerance, and Peace, and Diversity.

I just want to (laughing but seriously) warn once again (as I had in the past) that I myself am having some multi-layered Lilith-Return and DoubleWhammy transits.

And for that matter... so is LL, in a way.

She has {H2} CAPRICORN BML 27.52, BML(oscillating) at 27.58, and BML(interpolated) at 28+ Capricorn. ALL THAT LILITH!! LOL. I haven't looked up all the other kinds of Liliths and other anger asteroids...

The LL UnitedNations asteroid is 12.20 Cancer (ON the USA Sun). Both, in H7.
I view LL as a kind of UnitedNations... if you think about it. We are American based, but Internationally open and relating with each other here.

The USA Ascendant is 12+ Sag, while LL-Ascendant and MY Ascendant are 2 arc-seconds apart in 11+ Sagittarius. So, there's chemistry with all that coinciding energy potential!

My Sun conjuncts the LL-Jupiter-rx Gemini. H6
My Vesta Cancer is conjunct the LL North Node H8.
My Jupiter Cancer conjunct LL Vertex! H8

My Mars Cancer conjuncts the LL Solidarity at 2+ degrees.

My Saturn 11th House conjuncts my own Irene (Peace)... I hunger and try to make Peace, stabilize it. LL' Sun is nearby at 11+ Scorpio.
... (Having an MC in early Libra also facilitates my wanting to have and establish some workable Peace ...
It relates to my 10th House, it's part of my Soul yearning, and, it's coincidental that I've had positions in jobs where I was hired for one thing, then they needed the ability that I had to just 'naturally' be able to see all sides of the View and relate it to everyone else so easily that agreements and compromises were very easily achieved. And in the past, that is something I am proud to reflect on right now.)) I feel a bit burnt out right now, energy wise, but, I TRY to carry Peace and bring Peace and Harmonia (7+Libra).
Why haven't I tried to have a career in that?? BECAUSE I Like Peace. LOL ... I can take normal people in a cantankerous mood and help soothe... But I shun or shy away from environments were there is a lot of Violence being expressed. (From abuses I've had. I deal well with folks who have anger issues, but NOT when they are out-of-control. Had a mom like that... too triggering. She had very little self-control.)

There are some Potential and Positive aspects for the LL-Return AND for LL this week, and in coming weeks in November.

Sometimes, I've seen some exploding tempers here... but then afterwards, SUCH BEAUTIFUL Healings have occurred too, among persons Willing for it. {{{LL, You Are Beautiful!!}}

LL will have her Mercury Scorpio H11 Return at 1.53'. H11

LL will have tSaturn on her Chiron 15+ Sagittarius, tVenus will cross over tSaturn, then have her Venus-Return at 18.35. H1.

The cool thing (an aside here), is your tRandall name is going to be on my PAX (Peace) Virgo H(9) 3+. It's playing a part in MY chart energies.

When tMars gets to my Ceres-Randi (H2) at 25 Capricorn it will be trine my Moon-LL.MC! Also LL-Pax is 20+ Virgo near my Moon.

So! ... The LL Mars is 29.42 Virgo H10, and tMars energy going through Capricorn will 'enable' LL chart by trine (Mars trine Mars). We may find this will facilitate possibly more of the energetic-aggressive side of the cluster of "Liliths" that we have in our LL-chart, Randall.

In the USA Chart, 29 Capricorn is a very significant degree ---- When Presidents are inaugurated, that happens at 29 cap or 0 Aquarius, on whatever day depending on the year.

One of things I've seen about LL dynamics, is that they can go from very very heated, THEN, it can change into some of the BEST Wonderful Breakthrough moments in Friendships, and in Large and Good-Hearted Beingness...

The Politics are heating up more... You know that Jwop has approved of me as a 'liberal'... I just hate it when people can't stop, and just 'take in' the fact that no one view is the perfect view... That we ALL partipate in ONE UnitedHouse.

I just Pray that we all get through these next two weeks, and for me with MEGA-Lilith coinciding freaky transits, that we can all get through these days with a lot of Forgiveness and Understanding.

I know myself I've been extra-sensitive, but, I had thought this was something that I could just take with a grain of salt. ... But no, that salt is sticking around, and getting into some wounds I've had.

Please try not to take things so personally (if you pick up any snark, or READ-IN more snark in my tone.. ... YES, it's important too for me to relay again that I have a very dry sense of humor and I have to guard and without people being able to 'hear' my tone of voice, I'll have to *ask forgiveness in advance for unintended snarks* ... or maybe it's like what some people say, that I've been sitting on mounds and mounds of inner-frustrations. I tend to sit on anger because I don't think other people 'deserve' --- omg!!!! it was going to sound snarky!!! noooooooo.... hjahahahahahahahaha. okay okay. catching my breath, taking a break... not toing to say it.... no no, NO! *ziiiippppppp* ROFLMAO

Maaayn this stuff is powerful!!!!! hahahahahaha

I AM a Person of Peace...
I endeavor to Walk in Love...

I just ASK GOD, to help me transmute not only MY own energies, but Collective Energies, and LL-Energies.... for the GOOD.

*at your mercy* ..... omg..... LOL! heellllllppppp!!!!

The LL Chart
Friday 3 November 2000
9:27 am or 14:27 UT
Columbus, GA (US) 84w59, 32n28