posted July 18, 2016 10:49 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
I'm going to [b]SHIFT....

I want to SWITCH My Life Path, to Team TD Jakes, and under The Potter's House.

Making new plans. Need REFRESHING....

GOD!!!! UNTIE ME!!!!!!!!!!!! BREAKLOOSE BREAKLOOSE NOW[/B]

---

posted July 18, 2016 11:15 PM            

(music) Raise You Up On Eagles Wings [4:31] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4nVyXC7cy0

(Thank you so much everyone for reassuring words, and some clarifications... will try to share collections of thoughts tommorrow.)

posted July 20, 2016 12:16 PM            

I'm feeling kind of stranded... and I appreciate the ones who say 'just let it be conceptual'-- we'll figure it out as it goes. (You make me weep right now...) I feel inept electronically? ... And I don't have the tech equipment and knowledge I need right now. It just all feels like quite a HEAVY HEAVY Burden on me... so dumb, yet so bright.

Yes, I joined an echurch (TDJakes). These are virtual people too. -- ... There was a facebook group... but if I can't figure out facebook, then, I'm just as lame there as I am with my Beautiful astro-friends.

So what I'm feeling is heaviness, and lack of home-support. (You can take that at every nuance.... My Rm is going through a hard time, ....... I do know he has vacation coming (and an eclipse) ON his birthday at 9+Virgo.) ......

Oh, the other day, I got an email newsletter from a govt agency-interest, and omg, my 'astrology idea'??? was sooo ripe for developing. ... They've got it going on now in the mundane spheres. All we had to do is connect it up to some astrology.

Of COURSE~!, gently lovingly, I'm still interested in the astro-worlds, otherwise, I would have stopped everything. I'm just so sad, and feeling (falsely, and with some truth) those feelings of being betrayed. I KNOW there are those of you who have BEEN with me for soooo soooo soooo long, and you KNOW my Heart and interests. I just keep failing to be able to communicate 'the right way'??? or, just maybe, the pulses haven't aligned 'just right' yet? ... Feels like that Martian Rescue movie that was on recently. ... Having now to let things inside my capsule and launch vehicle be on remote from those who see and knows the right timings. My craft WILL be launched somehow?, and you all know the coordinates of 'where'... I had someone before wish me good-luck with trusting my friend-choices... That was a long while ago, but 'wish me luck'?... *smiles*

I'm doing the VERY Best I can, under the situation of Time... and I really am in GOD's Hands and Trust. ... And I have a sneaking suspicion, that even through every deep sadness and tears and pain of Heart I'm feeling right now, that the RIGHT People are acting on My Own Beautiful Behalf.

Gosh, I don't know if you realize how vulnerable and ~inept this feels. It's like a strip down version...

...go in search of a mentor? ... Don't have one here 'in the flesh'...

I've been to the cardio doctor, and I've got tests coming up. I'm "practicing" for my stress-tests. They will have to arrange for me to have a ride to their remote location-- bus doesn't run there... or else, I have to cancel (again, third time since 2008) going to get a cardio stress test BECAUSE they have their equipment where busses don't run in this town (and taxi price would be 200 round-trip. I can't use ubertaxi because I don't have a computer phone connected to the internet-- I can't afford it).

Stress test too?... omg. There are transits coming around 3rd week of August that are even on the EXACT day, the exact Full Moon, where at 4 years old, I almost died on surgery table for tonsils/adenoids.

(humorously) Doesn't add that I've been feeling really crappy either.... LOL.

The cardio doc had interviewed me, then at a certain point, I just poomed-out with tears and grief, because the subject of all the recent unrest and shootings came up for me when he asked me 'when' my symptoms 'last' were 'that severe'..... He says that I HAVE had abnormalities all along with the physical side, but, no sweat as they are watching me... I think he's saying that I'm taking ON too many Cares. ... *rolleyes*, *what else is new???? LOL*

So, my Rm is worrying me... And, I'm worrying my own self, feeling all dejected... when it's just Time I'm having to wait for? Certainly, all the enormous stress and strain of this Gemmy having to wait things out, is weighing.

So, I've got echocardio tomorrow, and I'll find out if they figured a ride for me. ... You know, that was a peak moment of terrible terrible realization of HOW ALONE I am physically here, without tangible-people to put tangible-arms around me, and say it'll be okay. ...

So, I guess too, these are really psychologically trying times for me too, dealing with the dump of toxins of all betrayals I've ever had in my life-- having to do with ex-marrieds and ex-family. X--- marks the spot on the tears of my Heart.

And I'm sooo glad that there IS a GOD who loves me BEYOND MY IMAGINATION, and that I DO have Loyalty in friendships... I just profusely apologize for not-being able to Connect as I could-or-should. It's technology, and age I guess? Just ~weird weird situ and circumstance. Quite bizarre actually. It all is! LOL Good thing to HAVE that Sense of Humor... My Heart Smiles.. and maybe my ~Liver too? or, ~Whatever!!! *roll*

Not going to sweat not-knowing enough about the tech-aspects of computers... that's 'fixable' in my life, with proper friendly training. Too stressful for me to *take too-much Care* right now. Got too much on my plate...

But I'm Thinking HAPPY!... and Will remain as Strong and Positive as possible.

...

(music) Just The Way You Are (Billy Joel) [4:10] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJWM5FmZyqU

(Throwing some Love at someone... You know who you are... through the ref today. YOU are SUCH a Beautiful Soul and Love, thank you for adding your treasures to my life today.... at*TWT*)
(music) When the Red Red Robin {LOL} (Doris Day) [1:39] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc95FaqWKJA

*Smiling, With My Heart*

posted July 20, 2016 12:54 PM            

(music) Night and Day (Ella Fitzgerald, live) [3:35] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=370TeZcrApc

EDIT ADD... I forgot to include the song I've been marching to in my imagination while I stomp around the neighborhood "practicing" for my cardio Stress-test. Over achiever??? oh yeah, ~you know it! and ONE of these days, (even though *chewing gum and walking* ..I feel sooo awkward and uncoordinated TRYING to do these moves, I have on my bucket-list that I want to learn this dance!!!)

posted July 21, 2016 11:54 AM            

This morning my self was flooded with impressions. Fear after fear, episodic waves. I started working with myself, leading thoughts to conclusions, holding the inner child psychologically. I'm facing some scary memories of botched medical procedures... So, that the 'real' part of it, and as I stated the other day, I have no physical emotional support person to accompany me with all of this. My head is clear yet saturated.

(And part of the reason for me saying all this is for the benefit of some astrological people who study the effects of transits through a chart.... tMars now direct again in Scorpio is going through my H12's UNconscious mind, just moving things around, up, and out for me to look at. And tSaturn Sag retro is back into my 12th again, and will be turning around there. tUranus Aries and tChiron Pisces are radiating to all parts of my chart, as I have mostly later degree planets. I'm going to stop delineating here... many of you already intimately know my natal chart--- and you all are SUCH a Blessing. ..... And things are getting more real by the moment now. I appreciate that so much.)

So anyway.... I woke up dealing with sensation in my body, undeniable that 'something' isn't quite as it should be? It arises in episodes. Could be panic?, but also organic.

Gotta be quick here, going to have to catch the bus to my echocardio.

So I was working and working on just allowing myself to have words for all the panic I feel going into these procedures. The one I'm having today is easy!, but the anticipatory fear of the rest is triggering every single childhood feeling of how it wasn't safe.

Cut to the chase....

This morning, while I was processing, a very very clear focus came onto how deeply prejudiced my white mother was of black people. First came aware of that when I was 7 3/4 years old. There was a really loving older black gent who would push a wheelbarrow around some of the new home construction going on in our backyard. He knew us kids were there, and I think he made it fun to push wheelbarrows and sing something in rhythms. We all (with joy) would line up like little ducks behind him, and sing his beep-beep song, and make the same motions he was. This was a positive experience....
...And at the same time, in nearby city (10 miles away) there were race riots going on. My father was in the military, and would be called into the danger zones. I'm trying to understand more where my mother would have developed SUCH hatred. As an adult, that 'may' have been a key for her. That her husband left her alone with 4 smaller children, every time SHE needed comforting and support.

This morning I was SO VIVIDLY IN TOUCH with the 'fear' that Black people face every day of their lives here in the USA. I 'understand' it-- from having had a mother who was that prejudiced, and overhearing her during my childhood wanting to harm (physically) people she didn't like. .... And, she 'didn't like' me either, so I had to watch out constantly (for myself and my brother just below me in age), and be always appeasing her from striking-out physically 'just because'. (She was unpredictable.)

And during all that, I actually put voice to my thoughts, and cried out--- and I had the concurrent Experience of 'feeling' in my body and emotions what it must be like to have to beg for your life in front of an angry white........ And omg.... There was another 'shooting' going on in Florida, of a black man who was trying to intervene with an autistic boy. He was some kind of caregiver, and he laid down on the parking lot, hands in the air, and *they* shot him ...........

(topic) Police Shoot Unarmed Black Man With Hands Up (ABC News, July 21, 2016) [2:16] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqBAOX6Qegk

This has got to stop. All this strife in this world... There should NEVER be ANY FEAR to ANY person anywhere.

God, just please have mercy on us...

So, the vidders who said that psychic impressions would be ramped-up right now? You are ON.

And also, the Holy Spirit is doing work...

I went to echurch bible study last night, and it was WONDERFUL.... truly a gourmet feast for me. Thank you Potter's House.

(music) The Potter's House Welcome Song (Jamar Jones, TD Jakes) [3:26] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGHquyVpFuY

(music) For Every Mountain {For This I Give You Praise!} (Kurt Carr, lyrics) [5:16] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usFt04naqxM

posted July 21, 2016 04:14 PM            

...'Snyder that rhymes with cider' is that a line from Linda's book Gooberz?

posted July 25, 2016 04:10 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Nice vid, Randall...

...'Snyder that rhymes with cider' is that a line from Linda's book Gooberz?

I don't know the association between Linda and Bill Snyder. I'll have to go over to the other forum (on Linda) to find out. Thanks!

---

posted July 25, 2016 09:56 PM            

I know you unregistered, and just in case you still read my thread from time to time, I just wanted you to know that you are remembered fondly, and Celebrated today!

(Been a bit under the weather ~ fluish.)
Hoping everyone has a good week, and I'll try to do a little posting in a couple other LL forums.

posted July 26, 2016 12:55 PM            

So many things I want to say, but then too, a sense of futility and frustration with some persons who refused to reciprocate contacts with me.

Now what I 'think' I'm seeing is that those people weren't really ready to receive my idea that was definitely-hot two years ago (or more).

I had an idea for an application for the use of astrology that would have gone beyond the games and parlor-style entertainment, and would have gathered people to make a Higher use of REAL astrology. It could have been being tested right now. (I've been seeing signs of how 'on time' I was with my idea back then... AND EVEN another story on the news this morning.)

At least what we would have been doing, would have honored all the thousands of years of knowledge-base. We would have made our ancestors proud, standing on the shoulders of people who went before us.

In my life, I've noticed I'm a trend setter. And I get ideas for things that they don't have technology for, or didn't, in the past. (And I'm talking about ideas I had in college--- I was born at the right-wrong time? or, the wrong right-time recently.)

I'm just a little disappointed that they didn't "understand" what I was trying to do?, but then, age, maturity, and generations played a factor-- WITH my environmental extreme handicap keeping me fighting, while I healed of one set of things, and started to feel as though I were succumbing to other things new, which were environmentally agitated.

I was seeing Potential rather than seeing through the showbiz. That was my fault. I'm a person who takes things at face value, and that's one of my traits. I try to stay being who I am... Yeah, I love to play?, but basically, you've been seeing the real me. And now, I'm getting the 'reveal' of who people actually are in life.... across many boards. You all weren't ready. You could have taken your tools of astrology and made MUCH MORE than money.... You could have made a True Difference.... (omg!!!!)

Now, what I think I'm hearing?, is that old moldy mantra about me have to do everything all by myself.... *millstone, instead of Milestones set for the Collective!*

But then, you might STILL not be ready for my ideas. (I'm just going to have to TRUST GOD, that he knew what he was doing--- always does.)

*hands up* ~duh! I tried, Lord?? You saw it!!!, I really did.

So now???, I have to begin to rethink and reframe another Purpose for my life?.. {dang!~~ yeah, a bulldog just gripping on to that bone, Miss Marie!!! *big hugs* ROFLMAO}

So, please excuse me while I try to extinguish my astrology idea? .... You might see me post some arrrgggghhhhs from time to time as I 'watch' the transits, and 'see' the progression TOWARDS that idea come to me via television and articles. .... *hands up* You ~missed it!!! You really did???!!....

... *Heart*

--

I attended ministerial school in early 1990s. It was REALLY a special time in my life. One of the main teachers I had was from New Zealand. Little white haired woman, Beautiful and feisty, with sooo much Class. Every day, I looked forward to her saying "Dear Hearts" at some point while she imparted her knowledge and gifts to us.
...She was the one who asked for my classnotes to copy for students in satellite school in Nigeria. Of course, many of these were already pastors of their own congregations. They reported back that they could Preach DIRECTLY from my notes... (While I was taking the class, I remember strongly, how the Holy Spirit (or some angels) would nudge me each time an important note should be taken... Then, at night I would fill in long hand all the scripture passages the teacher gave. ... It began what turned out to be a series of 7+ Study Guides written, then literally went all over the world.
.... The story of how I got in was just as harrowing and exciting. I think I wrote of that somewhere back in time in this thread.

Sharing astrology to the Glory of God, and Serving Others.

posted July 26, 2016 04:02 PM            

I know there are some who DO like my more personal posts.... Thank you for encouraging me to always be myself.... {{{thank you so much}}}.

I would have loved to have taken some astrology courses... but I don't have the 'right place' to live right now (or at least place to work/study) in order to do that. Not to mention money, supplies, and equipment needed. ... (Just in case people were wondering.)

I just received another newsletter inviting me to classes. I don't have all the equipment needed, I can't figure out all the different accounts I have to have to do that.

I can't always count on when I can be on computer (because of the *usual* 'hood reasons, in case you're a long time reader, then my saying that means something to you).

I'm actually not feeling well these days. I feel stuffed and saturated, achey. My body needs some attention I can't give it. So, I'm sorry if this sounds more curt than I usually sound? Please forgive, because I'm ~dealing with my self. I really do have a gentle heart towards people.... I'm just ready to throw off shackles. ... I've been working working at this for soooooo long now. Time for me to be on track with ~something?!!

{Did more digging for locally, and things are just probably not going to be right, until the presidential elections are made. I remember that from before--- they can yank that rug right out from under you.

I want something I can count on, that is Secure, and ~relatively Predictable ---- (~relatively !! LOL!!! The Gemmy, with major Uranus-type transits going off right now, is laughing her head off! ~yeah! That's Right!!!, I want SOLID and dependable, honesty and warmth.... oh sheesh).

I at least want some kind of way of being useful, employment, or a way/funds to support myself, where I'd be super HAPPY and what I would be doing would really COUNT in the large scope of things, for the cause of something really Good in this world. I have a lot to give.... (and right now? I need another tielonol!!! ..)

Straighten UP World!! ... {{ *Heart*}}

Lift up those Hands that hang down.... Strengthen the Feeble Knees. Make Glad the Hearts. The Good News is that WE are Loved, and We're Going To MAKE IT through all this, --- Together!!!

Many Blessings to All of you-- My Beautiful-Souled non-astrology Friends, AND my astronuts!

For Fun. Ready to go???? .... I'm taking Adventurers WITH me!! LOL

(music) Astroboy Opening 1 (1963, TV) [1:10] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4SmuiiwCV0

posted July 29, 2016 08:29 PM            

I watched DNC yesterday. Women made History... Of course, I know Hillary's chart (*correction* Scorp Asc 22+ MORNING time 802am, and the USA Chart (12+ Sag Asc). I've got some cool cool asteroids to share, plus some of my thoughts on her, and the politics.

I Love America!

Will try to post in next days... Chomping at the Saggi-Asc bit!!

Nothing that you've been through, is wasted...

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Shackles be gone!

---

Shackles???? *big grin* That's an old dancing song of mine!!!

Blast from the past

(music) Shackles {Take the Shackles Off My Feet So I Can Dance} (Mary Mary, gospel, lyrics) [2:59] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jLh6al-zkQ
_________________________________________
EDIT.. MY Error. Hillary Rodham Clinton 8:02 AM MORNING Chart with 22.08 SCORPIO ASC... is the chart I use. I mentioned the wrong time. Astrodatabank said 802Pm is "on record", but for ME, the Scorpio Asc fits sooo well.

I looked at the 29 Gemini Asc today, and that's when I noticed I had "confused" the two times, somehow.
Many many DEEP apologies here. And thankyou to those who were so polite as to include the Gemini 29 Asc Chart. ... No, the Scorpio is what I use.
Aug4 at 3:11pm

posted August 01, 2016 01:32 PM            

The element of surprise broke the streaming for me. Then later, when I tried to 'intellectually' try to recall and say the same thing, it just didn't carry (what we would call) the charism or anointing on it anymore.

Words are vessels, like cups and buckets, to dive in and bring forth the waters from the wells of Inspiration.

But, it was a good one! Energetically, I released it, dispering to all those I hold dear, and to every reader-- known and unknown to me.

I've been feeling deeply deeply moved in my spirit and soul recently (in spite of everything else). Just haven't been able to sit at the keyboard here to "deliver" it.

Frustrating? sure! But now, I take that inwardly more gentle approach to my 'not' being able to show up here appropriately. No more penalizing myself.

If my environment just doesn't support me, then, I can only be expected to do the Best that I can, AT the time, with what attention and energy I can give it.

(Someone hit the kryptonite switch here in the mid-morning, and I felt so demoralized and defeated. I'm trying to ~deal with myself. Then someone added to it by starting to work on their car, and it caused my autonomic nervous system to involuntarily stiffen the band of muscles around my middle, which is a very disturbing sensation. Right now, my chair and the whole place is 'shivering' and the beats are felt as raw uncushioned knocking inside some of my bones.)

*Not complaining---, just informing.*

*Complaining* carries an energy that increases the round-and-round spiral vortex of woes inside. I try to be aware of that, and abort it. Reframe.

It's the metaphor of water getting into the ship-- that I need to keep buoyant. So I bail that out of the insides of me, and strengthen that core of Peace within.

To be *Informing*, is merely the explanation and the reality behind why I have not been able to be here to write as I hunger to do.

Every single day, I write post after post within my Being. Every day, I awaken with thoughts of God, and creating posts.

I don't just write with my mind, but energetically with my Mind. I LOVE to be an inspiration to my world of Readers. (You deserve to know.)

I have this humor I do with my rm, when he has intruded on my incredibly intimate and deeply private personal moments here at the keyboard...
.. I tell him I'm having Chiron (water) transits (which, is absolutely true, astrologically? LOL). I call these cry*on transits.... Great for writers!

So, the other day, rm walked in on me *ahem* in mid-Inspiration. I was so shocked to suddenly see him standing there beside me, while in the midst of "giving Birth" to one of my posts, that it broke my Moment of inspiration.

This is what it's like for me at the Keyboard! Giving you a Window into my world here---- ...

(clip) Typical Writer? Diane Keaton at the Keyboard (from movie Something's Gotta Give) [1:16] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr4EcIrPcqs

And this was ONE of the songs I was going to leave here, yesterday.
(It would have been part of my Sunday posting.)

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord... and my Spirit exalts
--Luke 1:46

(music) Yes {Extended Version} (Shekinah Glory Ministry, gospel) [14:00] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvsYcuO6B4w

posted August 02, 2016 06:02 PM            

Conjunct my natal asteroid 3941 Haydn LEO 10.49' H8cancer...

Trine 567 Eleutheria Sagittarius {greek, The Liberator} Sagittarius. 9+ F.S.Antares, and P.o.Happiness. e.o. H12Scorp

Trine 8958 Stargazer, 965 Angelica, Eris, 8990 Compassion 9.06, 389 Industria 9.31, 330836 Orius 10+ Aries H4.
biQuintile Saturn Scorp H11
Quintile Ceres, Sheepman Capricorn H2 (trine my Moon Virgo H(9)Leo)
Quintile Elpis Gemini {communicating "Hope"-- from bottom of Pandora's Box, H7}

In the Beginning....

(music) The Word Was God (Rosephanye Powell, Oasis Chorale on July 30, 2011) [2:09] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWvCNrTrx_s

The Heavens are Telling The Glory of God!
The Wonder of His Work Displays The Firmament!

(music) The Heavens Are Telling (Franz Joseph Haydn, from oratorio The Creation) [3:58] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTOT3KF8yLk

quoting...

Haydn composed what is regarded as one of his greatest oratorios, The Creation, in 1797–98 with librettist Baron van Swieten.
Movement no. 13 of Part 1, Die Himmel erzählen die Ehre Gottes or "The Heavens Are Telling," is based on Psalm 19:1-3.

Haydn took an interest in astronomy and the discoveries of Sir Isaac Newton, and held the view that an orderly universe substantiated a belief in Divine Wisdom.

The victory of light over darkness is implied by Haydn's use of the key of C major, as opposed to C minor, which had begun Part 1.
[endquote]
ref. http://www.mormontabernaclechoir.org/articles/the-heavens-are-telling.html?lang=eng

tPluto-rx today is on my 3762 Amaravella Capricorn 15.33rx, e.o. H1,sagittarius {moving on to bigger and better things; Visions of a Wider Existence, a 'brave new world' or Vision of One- ref MAH},
Conjunct 385446 Manwe {"The Law of Grace"- ref.Amable}.
Trine Venus Taurus H5, sextile Saturn Scorp H11.
Quintile Juno Scorpio 4+ (tJuno is 3+) H11 Scorp
Quintile Part of Spirit Pisces 28+ H3aqua.

(music) One Voice (Barry Manilow, lyrics) [2:49] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKPWzLgvgW4

... Love

(music) Some Children See Him (Andy Williams) [3:21] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO77-UNpn54

Children are our Future...