posted March 20, 2018 02:29 PM            

Tuesday, March 20, 2018
Solstice occurred 12:15 p.m. East Coast time

(music) Spring Spring Spring (lyrics) [3:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ir9FSUsaLA

(We are under threat of severe weather here--coz normally, I'd be at my volunteer job right now. They understand I take the bus. Standing outside in lightning makes me ~really nervous! They are forecasting straight-line winds, flash-floods, and possible tornadic activity. So far, it's been more to the north of us, expected possibly in our area a few hours from now.)

oops! Warning signals now...

posted March 22, 2018 12:31 PM            

Up north, you all are having heavy snows right now. Those sticky heavy precipitations used to be called "sugar-maple snows," designed by Nature to help stimulate the sap in the trees to flow.

I recall my Taurus grandfather used to 'tap' the trees, and hang a small metal pail to catch the watery substance. He had a kind of 'still' in the basement where he would boil buckets of that sap to make a small container of maple syrup.

posted March 22, 2018 12:33 PM            

Happy Birthday, Stephen Sondheim (March 22)

- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Sondheim,_Stephen

(music) Loving You (Stephen Sondheim, from Passion, Judy Kuhn) [2:03] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3DEjxuoBaQ

(music) 'Not Getting Married Today' (Stephen Sondheim, from Company!, wonderful soprano Melissa Errico) [4:12] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRbKqJvRUbI

{{^ Happy Birthday, Melissa Errico (March 23) *balloons*}}
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melissa_Errico

(music) Send in the Clowns (Stephen Sondheim, from A Little Night Music Dame Judi Dench, BBC Proms 2010) [4:50] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvZex3Qf7QQ

- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Dench,_Judi

Happy Birthday, Andrew Lloyd Webber (March 22)

- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Webber,_Andrew_Lloyd

(music) Don't Cry For Me Argentina (Andrew Lloyd Webber, from Evita, Lea Salonga) [5:00] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLOnWWrGSaA

Ha!! Now, to lighten things up here....
Not feeling heavy today, but chipper actually. *Love*

posted March 23, 2018 01:33 PM            

Some people say NOT to say that, but what can I do, really??

'Your Wealth is in your Health'...
My health is better when sonics aren't rumbling.

I 'think' some people were willing to front some money for me to relo? ... There are FEW places where I would be able to 'stand it'? AND, I wouldn't be able to make enough income to sustain my own self.

So... seems like moot now?

Unless there was a well-resourced person or family who made permanent offer with good accommodations for me, "expecting NOTHING in return" except that they did something Good for someone who had NO WAY of doing it for themself, then, 'I'm done' for now.

Overcome by the freewill of others..

AND..

I am DETERMINED to keep batting-at-balls that are pitched at me-- one, after the other, after the other, because I am convinced in my soul, that I'm Doing Good by writing these threads and posts.

Others are picking-up on my leads, and Inspirations.

THAT is a Joy!

I LOVE posting.
I LOVE exploring ideas.
I LOVE music.

I really really LOVE helping others,
and Inspiring 'leaders' by my messages.

I will continue that----- till the hawks holding the nuke-buttons "blow us all up" by the end of the year?

Have to look at USA chart again.
Am exploring more asteroids. More pixels.
I seem to have the creepy ability to 'see' with them?, then to 'speak my mind'.

There are a few I use...
Will have to do the research when the hot-things 'allow' it, OR, I can climb ABOVE it. ABOVE the rumble and spikey shakes.

I have such empathy for people in war-torn nations. There is NO NO WAY that I can REALLY REALLY compare what I go through, with what is REALITY for them???? But I pray for them--- The neighbors here are Gamers-- their video-games and strong speakers 'replicate' (in the mildest reality form) what it is "LIKE" ??....

I ask All-mighty GOD!!! to intervene in our governments!!!

To STOP the destruction of our humanity-- by the freewill of those who have NO INVESTMENT in the Consequences of 'what they do'....

The leaders of governments are "protected"-- they are given the BEST protection against radiation from NUKES.. from Gas and Biological Warfare. They have NO SKIN in the game. They can't FEEL PAIN. They have NO LOSSES to touch their stony hearts?? ...
Just FEED on COLD hard CASH-- Metal, Guns, Robots??.

HARD "Metal" Walls of Separation....
TO 'snuff out' intercourse.

You snuff out intercourse of ALL kinds?, including communications (which is the KEY to Everything-- if you 'think' about it???), and you biologically will 'fail'. heh.

Yeh... there's a give and take of cues before 'fertilization' can come and take place, with the Birth of something new and different-- and sustaining.

I thought it was sooo significant the other day when I heard that male sperm counts are MUCH reduced now.

Made me think how Nature has Wisdom-- shutting the 'whole thing down'.

The Human Race?...
Failed to learn the test of History, once more?
Doomed to repeat???

SecretGeek had left a video from a man who has analyzed (in minutia, LOL) the way Everything works?

I watched the full video of Trey Smith's work.

I think there may be something for EVERYONE in this presentation.

Very Valuable---
Really well-studied, and explained so clearly.

(topic) Theory of Everything- GOD, Devils, Dimensions, Dragons, Illusion & Reality -the Theory of Everything (Trey Smith) [2:49:41] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtBz1roiQR8

His idea about Noah... and the 8 men (not including women???? heh), who God chose to re-start the biological race over again, like a sourdough???? Like yeast???-- STILL leavens the Whole loaf.

We are RE-VISITING our "faults" as the Human Race.

Have we NOT been able to Learn???

I have not viewed the 'full' video on his ideas on "Noah." (I'm not a fan of conspiracy theories, aliens?.. but I will be interested in what he has to say, IF/when I get to it.)

*~~

Here is something I wrote/posted this morning in a thread that Teasel started on Gun Control.
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum26/HTML/003698-4.html

*~~

ALSO...

As Mr. Rogers (and his mom) used to say--
Look for the Helpers!!!

I to 'Support The Helpers'

Police Rescue... http://wsvn.com/news/local/police-rescue-elderly-woman-trapped-under-bed-in-miami -beach-home/

So.... Here we are. Leaders HOT to go to War, and set off a CHAIN of UN-healable Destruction??

The Sin in the Unconscious... Missing the "Humanity" Mark??

How many times, how many 're-starts' do we get?

Like Trey Smith explains ...
WE are a Beautiful Conscious Fluke!

God! -- You are Marvelous.
What is Man, that You would Care for us.

Forgive us for the sin of selfishness.

AND!!!!

My Sagittarian Soul (ascendant) STILL Believes--

*spoiler alert* ?? (HUMOR)

WE MAKE IT through this-- and GROW Humanity, with a Better Conscience, and a TRULY Evolved Soul this time!!! haha!

And

I only PRAY (so hard) that my thoughts, my words, my deeds here, would have had (added to) a Ripple Effect--

That persons in our Humanity will have the Necessary 'CHANGE of Heart and Conscience', to DO the Right thing "for the SAKE OF"...

the Graduating Classes of Genetic Materials--

The EVOLVING Higher of Our Biological HUMANITY.

(music) It's the End of the World As We Know It {And I Feel Fine} (R.E.M.; Disaster movies, music video) [4:02] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIdPPVkkHYs

posted March 23, 2018 04:57 PM            

13.

posted March 24, 2018 11:05 AM            

Dane Rudhyar (March 23)
(1895-1985)

- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Rudhyar,_Dane?lang=e

........ Composer ........

(music) Stars (Dane Rudhyar, pianist William Masselos) [3:15] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEuP78AJQJk

yt notes --
One of my favorite pieces for piano solo is
STARS from Pentagrams No. 3 Release
by Dane Rudhyar
[Daniel Chenneviere] (1895-1985)
artist, astrologer, author, composer, philosopher
e.g. The Magic of Tone and the Art of Music (Shambhala, 1982).

Harvard musicologist Carol Oja sees Dane Rudhyar as an American Ultra Modernist, whose "goal is a build up of 'cumulative resonances,' as he put it, which could linger in the consciousness."

*~

When I first moved to this locale, I had visited a special section in my library. They would 'sell' books and CD's that others didn't want (or library was purging).

posted March 24, 2018 12:20 PM            

An INTERNATIONAL Movement

- http://marchforourlives.com/rally-livestream/

- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_For_Our_Lives

Quote.....
The March For Our Lives is a planned demonstration, scheduled to take place on March 24, 2018, in Washington, D.C. and throughout the United States.

Student organizers are planning the march in collaboration with the nonprofit organization 'Everytown for Gun Safety',
following the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, reported by some in the media as being the tipping point for gun control legislation.

Organizers are planning 836 March For Our Lives events.

A number of sister marches around the world will also be taking place, to reflect solidarity and support.

posted March 25, 2018 03:37 PM            

Emotionally, I am truly better than at any other time in my life.

The "problem" with my direct-environment is MOSTLY what drives me into certain kinds of posts.

Today-- I'm sitting on the chair, IN extreme-sonics again. Happens daily. Sometimes makes me feel really really ill in my body. Other days it feels awful, but, I'm ON TOP.

If you were to imagine sitting on the lid of a giant washing-machine or upon an electrical transformer box (we have one of those outside my back window a ways), and, you become aware of the buzz and agitation! It is "LITERAL". For the past two weeks solid, the neighbor has been playing their powerful beats and rumbles.

It's especially hard when on Tuesday mornings, I have to put my makeup on in the bathroom before going to my volunteer job. ... I've learned to just slap on the foundation and apply a little bit of mascara, and RUN!!! I put the rest of my makeup on while ON the bus.

Thing is... I've developed such an over-sensitivity now, over these past years?

Even when I get to my job, sometimes things there affect me. Definitely, the library has affected me, so, I hadn't been able to do some of the follow-thru there. The giant crane and industrial building equipment they've had there is now being removed (new giant building being erected across the street there). {Was going to take free computer classes.}

Thing is... I come home, and it's SUCH a 'let down'. I walk right back INTO the sonics that make me super-sick feeling.

So. Emotions??, many times, I have been able to 'funnel' these INTO music and posts. The BASE of it-- haha, has been literally 'the bass-beats' .... Doing the 'best' I can here.

What worries me, is not being able to BE in a 'better' environment. HOME is critically important to me. It's were I recuperate. I have NOT had a good recuperation in a long long long time.

People suggest to me that I need a break?... ho! you know it!!! AND, there IS no 'break' or rest here. It's constant agitation. (Agita, is an asteroid!! next to my Uranus? haha.)

When I get into the outer-world, I arrive WITH the disadvantage of already being 'low' from not being able to nurture self at home, adequately.

And.. You all know how your health and wealth are tied? ... I'm in the washer cycle of agitations. Can't get a job, because don't have a good 'home-base', can't get schooled, same reason. ......

I THANK GOD for youtubes. And especially for music!! ... The music, and posting here, ARE my sanity and outlet. Let's me 'feel' as though I have 'purpose' to write my thoughts and feelings out (because I know that by MY being real, by MY sharing, I encourage others to be themselves).

I know that Music is a bridge too-- a bridge to communications. There are a lot of people who get inspiration from my music, my humor, even spirituality, and ROCK Delineations? .... That makes my Heart soar!! Thank you. Means a lot.

So... the way I deal with my environmental hazards, is to allow my feelings to go ahead and flow WITH whatever I 'tap' into, even Collectively. I think I've done a pretty good job at it. I seem to have a knack for BEING in trends 'before' others sense it. OR else??? *I* lead those.

I JUST want to do the BEST JOB I can, being a Responsible Leader. Tapping in to trends, social issues, Spirituality, with the most integrity and Care that I can.

I never thought of myself as a leader. IF I am, then, I want to be a GOOD one. I CARE about the World. I HONESTLY do.

"First the sandwich, THEN the Revolution!!!" LOL

I am just 'at a loss' of what and 'how' to start myself again.

I've been out of the social world for a LONG time. (And I have no financial resources available ~~ yada yada. Super-depletion there.) I would need to be re-introduced to 'people' and being closer socialized? (that thought can be a bit intimidating.. LOL)

Everything I've represented to people, while I've been here at LL, has been 'real'. I don't try to deceive people. Nope. I HATE the kinds of messes that happen when people 'play' others. I prefer straight-on knowing WHO you're dealing with. I HATE lies. I don't like it when I find out OTHERS lie to me, either. That's the QUICKEST way to have me drop you out of MY world. There are LOTS of other fish in the ponds. If you SAY or Represent a 'thing' ... then, there'd BETTER be Evidence that this is really true of you. Period. Exclamation!!!

And yes, naturally, I have 'trust' issues!! LMAO. You've been Warned!! ahahahah

Nah... I believe in giving people several chances before I tear my robe-- *off with their heads?!*

The other really serious 'grave' faux-pas with me, are betrayers and those who PURPOSEFULLY Deceive others. ESPECIALLY if the person being betrayed and lied-about, is MY friend, MY tribe-- *aliens,~eyedaggers* LOL. 'You don't ~mess with my peeps!!!' NOR me for THAT matter!! LOL

There was something that had happened almost a month ago at my v-work. Wasn't even aware that something had been brewing. THREE of my coworker people moved into action and JUMPED down that person's back, 'shutting that person's attempts down'-- Even said, 'Nobody messes with our {name}'. OMG!!! *Heart*
.. I didn't find out this had happened, until it was over. Really rattled my world.
.. Yep. My protector-Dawgs refused to tell me 'who' it was!.. They only said that it was 'foul and dirty trick' aimed at me.

As it's been almost a month now, I am "taking that in", and owning it. I watched them actually GLOATING in their Victory defending me.
.. Took me a few days to 'get used to that' idea? But yeah. I can say, ~HEY, I've got people reciprocating who watch MY back too.

{{haha, ty Lord!!! What a Wonderful relief.}}

So. I guess (I HOPE???) this is a more-clarifying kind of communication (under a Mercury Retrograde??).

There's lots more I haven't addressed-- but this will have to suffice for now.

Got errands to run.

I love Bette Midler.

I Dedicate this song to the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students, of Parkland, Florida, and Everyone around the World who participated in the March for Life rally yesterday.

THESE TEENS, and youths.... What HOPE they spark. Look at what America has!! You have exemplified 'what is Right' about America.

Yes, it's sooo horrible you lost your Friends in that ordeal... I sorrow with you in your losses. In losses everywhere, in the 'insecurity' you sense, and the feelings of not being safe anywhere?

You ARE so Brave. All of you.

AND, I hope that you can see now... what a POWERFUL Ripple-effect Wave that those deaths (AND your Love) has now 'triggered'.

Keep Growing.... It's about Love!
BE there for each other.

As one well-expressed student said from the podium, 'We are each other's keepers.'

Solidarity, Unity, and Love.

posted March 25, 2018 05:01 PM            

On my walk through the neighborhood, I found out that the man living across the street and in the end unit, had passed away two days ago.

R.I.P.

He and I would only-occasionally speak, but waved hello often.

Knew him since even before I moved in here with rm. (I had had my own apartment here, before rm.)

This man was brilliant. The most knowledgeable person I've met pertaining to subject of US History. He and I had several really interesting exchanges over the years.

He worked as a driver for a company that transported handicapped people. The medical insurance his company gave was 'minimal' (i.e., sucked).

He had come down with a few skin cancer lesions. The medical insurance didn't adequately cover the medicine and treatment he needed. ... The man had to resort to 'natural' means, on his own. I remember his struggle with getting a hold of natural laetrile (vitamin B-16 or 17???).

Last week, I was on a walk. He slowed his truck to speak to me. He was really hopeful. Told me that the doctors finally 'convinced' him to take some medication to help control some of the pain he was having. ...
.. He said that by this, he would be able to resume some of the higher doses he had been taking of his vitamin therapy, and some kind of poultice he used over some spots.

At ~ 2:00 a.m. earlier this past week, ambulance had come to pick him up.

He looked as though he was okay.....
Died that next night.

Today, I celebrate having known him,
and thank God for his "Lived Life".

He is without pain today.
... Hallelujah, Lord!

(music) Thank You, Lord (Don Moen, lyrics, *christianMusic*) [5:59] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K44trVhtZX4

posted March 26, 2018 01:25 PM            

........

posted March 26, 2018 05:22 PM            

Happy Birthday, Elton John (March 25)

- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/John,_Elton

He's served as one of the World's minstrels.
71 years old ..... Wow, How Time Flies.

Thank you for Sharing your Gift!

(music) Funeral for a Friend / Love Lies Bleeding (Elton John, live, instrumental) [11:05] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z314pQhLb2Q

(music) Candle in the Wind/Goodbye England's Rose (Elton John, Live at Princess Diana's Funeral, Sept 6, 1997) [5:06] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o9rLDCfO6o

(music) Bennie And The Jets (Elton John, Diamonds 1973; live, Nov. 2017) [4:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WngTeBCwMhc

Happy Birthday also, to Aretha Franklin (March 25) *balloons*

- http://www.astro.com/astro-databank/Franklin,_Aretha

(music) Respect (O.Redding, Aretha Franklin) [2:27] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob8TU0vtcQQ

(music) A Rose Is Still A Rose (Aretha Franklin) [4:34] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtMUQbnT_Lo

(music) That's What Love is For (Amy Grant, perf by Kids Incorporated) [2:08] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PojCifwS9xo

posted March 26, 2018 06:39 PM            

I may repost this schedule on later pages on this thread when they turn.

CHIRON ARIES

CHIRON in Aries --
w retro Pisces--
back to Aries

CHIRON -- 2018

Enters 0 Aries
Tuesday, April 17, at 4:12 a.m. EDT at 0.00 Aries

Retrogrades
Wednesday, July 4, at 12:48 a.m EDT at 2.25 Aries

Back in Pisces-rx
Tuesday, Sept 25 at 8:09 p.m. EDT 29.59-rx Pisces

Stations Direct
Sunday, December 9 at 2:52 a.m. EST at 27.54 Pisces

CHIRON 2019

Re-enters ARIES 0 Degrees
Monday, February 18, 2019, 4:10 a.m. EST 0.00 Aries

Later, Chiron enters TAURUS for a couple months,
retrogrades again into the last degrees Aries,
then officially travels through the sign of TAURUS until the last week of April 2027.

posted March 28, 2018 02:17 PM            

{"International Be Kind To Astrologers Day" LOL }

(music) Good Morning Starshine (Oliver) [3:39] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw3oxJvSRj0

posted April 07, 2018 06:50 PM            

Okay. Today?? I have to vent.
You have been warned!

I include this material because I know that a few of you ARE interested in what goes on in my world. And I thank you for that.

Today.
The percussive beats from next door are OTT atrocious, once more.

I tried to speak and "reasons" with the man there and he refuses to cooperate.

Rm and I had a small interaction that wasn't 'the usual' kind of exchange. It was rare and had a more serious tone.

His name is on the lease here.
He has 'the authority' to say something to the manager-- which, (after I spoke to other neighbors today), they say IS the right option, rather than calling in the police. (The manager freaks about neighbors who do that, because that call gets registered against the apartments, and it lowers the value of the apartments here.)

The "right" thing to do is to tell the manager.

Rm's response is that "it doesn't bother him"
so he isn't interested or invested in doing anything for "ME" about it.

A few days ago the beats were even bothering rm sooo much, that we left the building and went out for some pizza to get away from it.

No. He won't confront.
He's flaccid, and puts it on ME to be creative about managing the constant sonic beatings coming through the walls.

We had a convo.....

I said how (for months) I had desired to be able to ADD to the money here so we could improve our lives. I have NOT been able to even adequately post here, 'because' of all-of-this.

Another thing?
We have the refrigerator from hell (lemon) in this tiny place that 'hurts' -- and the maintenance guys here say that he COULD have swapped it out-- but he doesn't because "it doesn't bother him."

I was bold today, spoke up and said,
I am a sentient HUMAN being.
I feel pain, and hurt from all this.
Semi-pleading (while retaining dignity and strength, I said to him) .. "Just because" YOU don't 'feel' it, doesn't mean that I am not.

At that point, I got extra bold (while maintaining a kind of gentle calm).

I try to remain respectful and kind with him-- and had to force the words out of my mouth, to say, The Right thing to do would BE to regard that I 'feel/sense' pain inside my body -- and, you could knock on that dude's door to let him know that he NEEDS to TURN IT DOWN. ...

I waited....
He stood there....
weakly he said again, but I don't feel it--
and he settled his butt back into the TV chair.

He would NOT 'fend for me' ....

At that point.. I left the building to go stand outside.

There's a person that has lived in the hood here for as long as I have been here (11 years June 1).
I vented with him...

haha, He has ESP!..
I was 'thinking' that I would want to talk to HIM right then, and within a few minutes, suddenly, he appeared and was looking across the way at me, with a quizzical look on his face.

I hadn't seen him in weeks. I motioned to him that I wanted to talk. He came forward. We stood there for a while, swapping 'hood stories.
He 'knows' Rm's type... He said for me to stay Creative.

awww. I appreciated his manly input.
He's been a stress-breaker person for me in the past years.

So.

Since Rm did the final retirement,

I have NOT been able to CLEAN in this place the way My Virgo Moon Self 'used' to. I love a clean place. I like 'a place for everything and everything back to its place' ... He takes 'terrible dagger-energetic out-loud small-temper fits' when I try to clean... so, I had to adjust the bar for me-- which I HATE. I dirt-shame myself all the time!! LOL ... but then too-- 'what can I do?' ... If HE doesn't like it?, I can't do MY level of clean.

He decided during that retirement to remain HERE, and not to relocate.

I (being his support person) said that by a relo, I probably would have been in better shape, and could have been making some money to cover the expense of a better place.

He says nothing ... He's blank.
I don't think he listens at all sometimes. *sad*

<<PARAGRAPHS to delete later, for privacy>>
That's why TOO--
It would be dangerous for me if something medical were to happen here, and I would become unconscious.
Even though we've lived together for nearly 11 years, he 'still' does not know me well at all.

I'm looking over at the spot near his bedroom door right now...

There's still the indented spot on the carpet that has resisted getting cleaned (need a professional?)-- about half the size of a baseball.

.. That's the spot I reference to myself as *red flag* to remind me of reality.

.. That week after the Full Moon Eclipse Libra 25+ (my Neptune!!), on the 15th of April 2014 (involving a Grand Cardinal Cross), was the time I had collapsed on my sudden need to run to the cot. It was just before 11pm. The evening news on TV was starting to wrap up.
.. The next wall neighbor (without warning) had set-off several fumigation-bombs (too much in a very small space) to get rid of an infestation of bed bugs he brought into our building from dumpster-diving. The fumes were entering our apartment.... The inside of my mouth began to vaguely 'taste' it.
I had caught a flu, and my sense of smell was very dull.
.. I am NOT a fainter. I think that swoon was the 2nd time in my ENTIRE life? ...

I passed-out while passing his door. Falling over, I hit my head, and wound up crumpled in his threshold-- unconscious and bleeding into the carpet (*ref flag*).

I came-to, while he was kicking me with the side of his foot, to awaken me and 'inform' me that he needed me to get out of his way. He said that he was tired now, and that 'it was time for him to go to sleep.' He needed me to get up because I was "in the way" of him entering his bedroom and shutting his door.

yeah....
Calmly. very 'detached' ... that's "just" the way he is, the way he is 'wired' to be.
He elects not to respond.
If it isn't happening to him???..... then he steps over it.

So.... If there's ever a time that I 'break' any bonds with him, then, it's now. He doesn't stand as my ally. I walk on eggshells with him here, so that he won't get upset.
<<end, to delete .....>>

I can't work IN the apartment, and, right now, I'd love to be going through my bins one more time to see if anything should/could be tossed so that I would 'fly' lighter, but I can hardly stand-myself being in that room for a majority of the day *gamer-sonics*.

I keep going back and forth about trashing EVERYTHING I have, and, just in case, NOT-throwing one more thing away.

My laden is much lighter than it had been upon my arrival here.

I don't know if it would be Wisdom for me to trash it ALL-- pretending we had a fire or a flood?

I'd probably be giving up things that I would SORELY regret afterwards. The materials in those bins, are pieces of my biography and History.

I thought these could be valuable if I decided to Write some things, or do transit forensics for adding to knowledge, about certain clumps of time. There were certain time periods I was documenting quite well (without realizing the worth of it later-- it was 'always' inside me that I would value this some day).

Lots of LIFE in those bins.
Like I've said before, sometimes these 10 gallon stacked bins that surround my cot, look like mausoleum-drawers. Corpses. Dusty bones.

I spoke to someone briefly about how I can't decide what to trash and what to keep? She said to stay in the moment with it, and NOT to trash anything because of remorse afterwards.

I thought her validation of that to me, was wise. I feel cramped because of feeling so closed-in by my storage bins for a decade now. If I knew what was 'coming' then, it would be MUCH easier to black and white 'decide'.

Really...
my hunch has been not to toss. ..
And I 'fight' the feeling to just trash everything. ...

It's what's left of my History..
important small photos from the past (I think I have only 2 or 3 pictures of myself that were taken over the last 17 years-- rm is not a photo-taker, and I never bought a camera to ask a neighbor if they would take one).
I have some little writings I've done, a couple of interesting letters from friends in my past. A couple of simple mementos. A bin of my artwork (which I ~could probably sell? but, I doubt they are worth too much).

I suck at selling my stuff---
Throughout my life, I'd rather give things away to folks I thought would benefit or enjoy.

Some of the bins have beginner astrology binders. If a few of you lived close to me, I KNOW you'd be able to use the materials and decals for your classes. I would have LOVED to 'just give' them to you.

Now----- Normally at this point, I would read over the material I just typed, then DELETE it.

Some (really beautiful) people have requested some more-transparent kinds of thoughts from me.

Really---------- I would RATHER do some Inspirational material. I do posts in my head all the time. Wish they had thought-to-typing technologies. Some day??? *grin*

Another thing.
I have a romantic soul, and can have a racy-kind of streak in me involving music. I have shied away from doing those kinds of posts in recent months, as some people take those quite literally?? aww. Vive l'amour!!
Not looking at any kind of sexuality (~lady-problems).
I have too much respect for a few of you, too.
My Venus Taurus gives me a sensual-kind of flavor or allure, but I'm not a gauche person. I consider with myself that I have excellent boundaries where those things are concerned... Venus OPP Saturn.

Was thinking back to times of my working in offices-- especially around some bluecollar places.
People who flirt didn't bother me-- I am fine with that (to a point).
I laughed so hard this morning remembering a subcontractor I dealt with over the phone and fax. Lived in another part of the country. Everything had double-inuendos.. and we roared at each other's audacity. It was a game, and I made SUCH a good friend for my company being able to do that with him. ... I miss him the most!
I can deal with salty characters.
(Work-people, is different from a home situation.)

I'm a solid and pretty grounded person.
(Posting, is a different situation here.)
I can have an outrageous sense of humor.
I can 'dish it out' as well as take (most) things.

When I'm not hurting and blubbering over my postings...
I'm a pretty cool person to be around.
I basically have my sh$ft together ..
(water-Chiron, and sometimes the water Moons are more introspective for me-- but still relating to public people in a cheery way).

One of my coworkers at the v-job calls me a Ray of Sunshine. I have GREAT relationships with coworkers-- I'm usually very easy to get along with. There was just that hidden hiccup-thing that went on in the background somehow last month (at v-job).
No big deal. (If you read that post... They refused to tell me any more about it, as they faulted that person greatly. To my coworkers, they were way out-of-line.)
People in the office right now have a sense of safety and are 'closer'... There's such a friendly acceptance that I feel there now.
They are 'training' a new recruit-- and I have had some good input with him. (He's an Aquarius... and he will ask his sister to look up his TOB on his certificate! LOL)

*~

That is just my 'inner' world, that I have shared very openly here.

*~

I kept just typing today....
The rumble is.. yeahhhh pretty fierce.

*~

I wanted to address too, that I know I have had some deep self-esteem issues. (I won't delineate that!! LMAO)

If I can say anything about my life-- my self--
I have come into an acceptance and 'liking' of "me" more than at any other time of my life.
I LIKE 'me'. (LOL). I think you'd like me too! *roaring with laughter??*

I go down and deep into my emotions here...
Of COURSE I still have 'issues' that need healing.
You can't have had the kinds of things that have happened to me, and not still occasionally need some TLC.

Gently-- My life was very very sad.... I've had GRIEVOUS losses in this lifetime. I still 'hurt' from some of those....
I know where some of my mistakes were (in my lifetime), but REALLY... I did the best I could, all the time.

If there's something positive I can say about myself (without sounding egoic), is that I'm a pretty good soul. I never set out to intentional harm people-- {humor, Definition of STRESS??? for those who know that punchline???}/

I'm not into vengeance. I look at self thoroughly and first.

Sure~~ I can have human occasions of getting upset or mad, but/and, *I get over it*.

Actually-- I probably NEED to express anger in my life more. (Would probably improve some health?)

*~

I've been soooo impressed by some people's inner beauty. WG! Just getting started? .. Great Job. You have quite a future ahead of you.

When folks talk about lining up what draws my soul, and, normal ideas and directions in my head--- sometimes, ... I DEEPLY wish there was someone I could talk to, and have a private discussion about it.
.. VERY seriously doubt that there is anyone in this locale who would 'grok' what I was trying to say.

That's what I need....
I need the company of others who 'grok'!! LOL

*~

Anyways... I apologize that this was not a philosophical~inspirational post.

I know I missed April 4, Dr Martin Luther King Jr's 50th Anniversary.

I had planned to post for that-- but sonics were HORRRRRIBLE-- even WITH my great set of earphones on.

Part of what I had planned was sharing the chart of the assassination event, accompanied by a few asteroids.

I'll just list it (for those interested).

EVENT: Dr MLK Jr Assassination
Thursday, 4 April 1968
Memphis, TN (US)
90w03, 35n09
Time 7:05 p.m.
UT 1:05 (5 Apr)
Sid 6:58:24

4355, 1114, 7100, 2305, 18243, 11207, 1193, 3241, 273

I was drawing a comparison to the 50 year transit-anniversary (Chiron return);
and, the USA (Sibley) Chart.

I hadn't looked at his birth chart, but if you go to my thread pages for January 15 this year, I had posted a memorial and link to his chart.

~~

I'm not sure 'why' I am feeling so uneasy.
Like I've been saying...
This place is overcoming and overwhelming.

I "use" my body to SENSE, use it for thinking and feeling things out-- not just on the outside, but meta-inwardly??? I think that is a big reason I haven't been able to 'decide' things.

It's part of the Whole Sense of me.

I feel a little leery when folks say how 'hard' to work? ...
I (believe) I have not been afraid of tackling things before, in my life.
Have the ability to be pretty disciplined?? (at least, from my own perspective, as I think back over my life)

I thought I had ~overheard a side-comment that you think I won't be able to handle it?

Well... I would first need to know what 'it' is? *heart*
Of course, I DO have limitations...
(now... there goes the worry-wart!! LOL)

posted April 08, 2018 09:43 AM            

Look. I'm not a person to beat around the bush.

It is PERFECTLY fine to me that some of you younger people are purely about "business" and having 'the perfect people' in your life. You are striving to "make money" and that is your target-- and to do it with the LEAST expense to yourself. (I had caught that before. It's OKAY.)

I have NOT been in the workforce for a LONG time. I am WAY behind on your most "modern" skills. You want THE WHOLE package.

It's OKAY that you want to 'reject' me for those reasons. You don't have to make aspersions. GO for the DOUGH. GO for the Fresh in your life.

I had an unfortunate experience this life.
Chiron in the 2nd.. is more than self-esteem.

I LIVED my life... You younger people are striving HARD to 'get to the top' and (like a plane) achieve a certain level of prosperity before 'it is too late' for you.

There is a slim and narrow gate.
There are only certain viewers.
You compete now for money from same-clients.

IF you think I wouldn't be able to work.. I am completely fine about that. No worries. Please go on with your lives. I see that you all keep switching up team members?? .. whoah.

I wish you all to achieve a certain 'stability' among yourselves so that you can TRUST people to 'pitch-in' and NOT steal your intellectual property and ideas.

I was just very flattered to have been considered your Muse for all these years.

I know that some of you HAVE prospered from reading my posts. Prosperity comes in MANY ways, and on MANY levels.

I wish you all the BEST of Luck.
I hope you reach new heights, new visions ...

Follow your Dreams.

And, get along with each other.
NO man is an island.
There is such a thing as TOO much detachment.
TOO much flying solo.

If I have been a Wing to you, and you need to Take Flight, it is OKAY.

You're supposed to Grow, and FIND your Potential.

I hadn't really 'considered' myself as any kind of mother-bird. That was a refreshing concept actually.

THANK YOU for having considered me a Value to your life... even if it was just for a while.

Make a Difference-- Promote Cooperation, because this 'notion' of 'every man to himself' will not win out at cataclysmic changes.

I remember some weather events we'd had here.
Even people who thought they were 'their own little nucleus' HAD to come out and Be A Neighbor to others... Around 2 or 3 days in the aftermath, that 'cooperation' began to distill... and people were back 'on to themselves'.

I know that BUSINESS is your THRUST now.

I hope you can find safety and TRUST among each other.

As for me, I have a neurological impairment now, that is really severe. That's a real downer for me. I may never find 'my own' good place to stay, and be subject to my environmental circumstances.

There are Unintended Consequences to innovated technological advances that add Pleasure into other folks lives.

Unfortunately?... (laughing) 'Being Old' and in an old body ... can suck. Take good care of your birthday suits!

I release you... With Love.

As some of you have been saying to the others...

GOD will take care of me.

I BELIEVE in God.
It is HE who is holds Living Hearts in His own Hand.
He has mine....
He is My Portal and My DoorKeeper.

HE can cause the Right Thing to happen...
There IS 'The Right place' for me,
AT the Right time,
with The Right People.

Thank you for the interest you've shown over these years.

Best Luck to you.

The World is in God's Hands....
AND Belongs to the Youth of this world.

Use your Power and Influence Wisely.

posted April 08, 2018 04:44 PM            

And for some,
that your Passover Season was Sacred.