posted December 06, 2022 07:57 AM            

I just made a post with transits question (grand cross by transit). Just popping in here because anyone who knows anything about transits would be here. Could you please have a look, perhaps you know the answer to that question. I'd really appreciate your help!

posted December 06, 2022 12:17 PM            

Thank you very much for your responses.
You and I have aqua mars and MC and my boyfriend is virgo sun, mercury and mars...interesting.

More couples should do counseling. I found it silly when someone told me that if a couple is looking into relationship counseling and they are not even engaged, then that is a major red flag. As in, if your relationship requires counseling and you are not even engaged, then that is not the relationship for you.

Since when did couples counseling become a solution for only married couples when they are facing major issues later on?

posted December 06, 2022 03:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by chocogold:
@Stawr:

Thank you very much for your responses.
You and I have aqua mars and MC and my boyfriend is virgo sun, mercury and mars...interesting.

More couples should do counseling. I found it silly when someone told me that if a couple is looking into relationship counseling and they are not even engaged, then that is a major red flag. As in, if your relationship requires counseling and you are not even engaged, then that is not the relationship for you.

Since when did couples counseling become a solution for only married couples when they are facing major issues later on?

Thank you.

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Aww thank you!!

Cool about your MC and Mars being the same! I listened to the Astrology podcast and they were saying that mars does not like to go retrograde in Aquarius. (I think the last time was the 70's) The world can't handle too many of us. LOL!! Can I ask what degrees your Aqua Mars is? Have you been though your Uranus square Mars transit yet?

One of my Aquarius Mars friend's now is poly.
My husband is almost the same as your boyfriend but he is a Leo with Virgo Venus, Mars, Mercury and Rising.

I'm glad you see it that way. Even if not engaged yet, it shows that they both take the relationship very seriously. Some people can go decades before they start to work on their marriage. It's so crazy, and it's just like 20 years of things to unpack with the partner. I've seen so many of my friend's parents split after HS. My parents have been married since the 80's. People will be like "your parents are still married" I mean I wouldn't say that they are happily married. I really think I know like 3 people who truly seem to be happy together and enjoy each others company over the decades. But my parents did a few marriage seminars when I moved out after HS. I also think God makes something go wrong at home when my dad travels, to remind her that he fixes everything in the house. Since she has a Virgo nit pick stellilum.

I really did consider myself blessed that I have a husband that was willing to go to therapy. But honestly I realize that is setting the bar pretty low for what women tolerate from men. "I am so lucky my husband didn't say no to going to counseling" sounds pretty messed up to me now. Women right now are married to guys who say things like "If you think we need counseling just divorce me"

But yeah I could not believe I needed couples counseling when we weren't even married for a year. I did feel like a failure. But yes, then I thought about the people who wait decades to try counseling.

Right! I have been considering counseling with one of my best friends. We have been bringing the worst out of each other lately. I wanted to tell him off in a peer mediated environment. But then I remembered how much he has been though over the years, and to be nicer to him.

Oh man I felt like I needed family therapy sessions about a week ago.

I decently need my own damn councilor right now, and in the process of getting one.

I watched a show on Netflicks last night that made me think of you called "The Orthodox Life." This woman got a job somehow behind her husband's back. Has a fashion line. Met her soulmate got married. Her husband took HER last name because of all her accomplishments.
It's a reality show but the mom is not a shadow in her new marriage.

posted December 06, 2022 03:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
Ugh that makes me sick that your coworkers talk about you like that. What does that even mean!? I am pretty sure you are not shopping in the kids department, and if you are following the dress code rules. wtf.

I really think other people are so into trying to dress like everyone else, to the point where it stresses them out. So if anyone has the bawls to not care, dress mildly different brings out the neanderthal in them.

I think it's also like internalized sexism too. Like women will get mad at women for "dressing younger" whatever that means. Women will want to prove that they are not dressing for men, but will tear other women down to prove a point that they are not dressing for men.

Like do people really think that makes them look good???????

It's like the person is saying I don't have the confidence to do that, and you should be miserable like me too, is all I hear when my coworker was triggered that I wore high pigtails one day to work. LOL

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posted December 06, 2022 08:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
Aww thank you!!

Cool about your MC and Mars being the same! I listened to the Astrology podcast and they were saying that mars does not like to go retrograde in Aquarius. (I think the last time was the 70's) The world can't handle too many of us. LOL!! Can I ask what degrees your Aqua Mars is? Have you been though your Uranus square Mars transit yet?

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quote:

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One of my Aquarius Mars friend's now is poly.

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I believe you. I have never met another mars in aqua but I find I tend to be more open and experimental regarding sex activities. As in, nothing shocks me and I never mind giving something a try.

quote:

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But yeah I could not believe I needed couples counseling when we weren't even married for a year. I did feel like a failure. But yes, then I thought about the people who wait decades to try counseling.

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I do not think you should see it this way. What if in the future, you meet someone and you do counseling before the engagement? Some people will also see that as a failure and what will you think then?

I think that people who make judgmental comments are suffering from the same mania that Librapurr mentioned, it is insecurities about their marriages being projected onto you.

quote:

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I watched a show on Netflicks last night that made me think of you called "The Orthodox Life." This woman got a job somehow behind her husband's back. Has a fashion line. Met her soulmate got married. Her husband took HER last name because of all her accomplishments.
It's a reality show but the mom is not a shadow in her new marriage.

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That is funny especially since I am Jewish but did not grow orthodox--I have heard of the series.

I am actually accomplished but I fear being just the wife of and mother of. From doing so much careerwise to then being known and acknowledged just as 'the wife of so and so.'

posted December 07, 2022 04:29 AM            

I'm also trying to finish library books that the library is once again demanding back. I got them out in October - just in time to get food poisoning, that affected me in some ways, for weeks. Then my aunt died, and then my dog died a month later. I was getting into the reading, as long as I was out with dad, in the van, and that was cut short over the last few days. If I'm not done this weekend, they're all just going back. I've almost finished the cookbook.

posted December 07, 2022 01:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Stawr:
[b] Ugh that makes me sick that your coworkers talk about you like that. What does that even mean!? I am pretty sure you are not shopping in the kids department, and if you are following the dress code rules. wtf.

I really think other people are so into trying to dress like everyone else, to the point where it stresses them out. So if anyone has the bawls to not care, dress mildly different brings out the neanderthal in them.

I think it's also like internalized sexism too. Like women will get mad at women for "dressing younger" whatever that means. Women will want to prove that they are not dressing for men, but will tear other women down to prove a point that they are not dressing for men.

Like do people really think that makes them look good???????

It's like the person is saying I don't have the confidence to do that, and you should be miserable like me too, is all I hear when my coworker was triggered that I wore high pigtails one day to work. LOL

---

That’s what people do when there’s apparently much free time and poor leadership. I have unfortunate talent to walk by when somebody talks some **** . I don’t think I’ve ever heard how somebody’s good sides were discussed behind his back.
They had nothing else on me so I thought if it was only thing you can gossip about me now go ahead. I’m sure it was more **** before. I often attract the wrong attention.[/B][/QUOTE]

I will say at my last job people will say nice things behind the back too. But ugh yeah the whole busy body thing, it's like you really don't have any real problems, and this is a problem for you!? lol

posted December 07, 2022 03:27 PM            

Something about doing "everything right" for it all to just suck, is making me consider trying open relationships, poly, swinging whatever the spectrum may be. I am fortunate to be in a metro part of the Midwest where I can easily flock to other freaks out there. And just the fact that there really isn't any scientific evidence that humans are monogamous creatures by nature.

But I really think the signs were there when I was little. It's hard to know because poly or whatever has pretty much only been represented to benefit men only. Not a lot of role good models currently. I think Pluto in a Aquarius though we will see more of a shift.

But whatever will bring me joy in any of my relationships in the future. I have to work on my emotional bottling. Serious serious resentment towards my husband. I did speak up better with him compared to other guys in the past. Therapist gave us some good verbiage. But could also tell us when we were talking to each other from a place of trauma. I gotta speak up for my wants and my needs, but I also want to make sure I am not exhausting myself just trying to get my partner to meet my needs either. I have to listen to my gut more, because men lie with zero consideration or regard for screwing me over and wasting my time. My experience in love anyways so far.

I get asked if I'm Jewish a lot. I was brought up Catholic. I feel like I am turning into that woman Ms Haart! It's been super inspiring for me to watch! (our charts have a lot of similarities)

Sad spoiler alert on the show, her super supportive husband completely turns on her for not getting enough attention, and tries to ruin her company.

I kind of understand what you are saying. I have Venus Pisces though so there really is a part of me that just wants to submit to man. And be all like I'm your wife and mother of your kids teehee. Pardon my jadedness, but men suck at being in charge making me feel unable to submit to them. I made that mistake at first since I moved in with husband. I would suck up to him more for it. But then one day it just hit me like I pay the same amount of rent as him, and I'm busier than he is, why has he stopped doing basically all the chores and just waits for me to do it even though I am super busy and he isn't? So I just had a major attitude most of the time. He was turned on/gets off by my attitude. But it really is draining feeling like you have to have an attitude with a partner all the time and can never just relax much around them.
I will have workaholic phases. I am proud of what I have achieved. But I need balance. I am totally one of those people that is like "I like my job, but why is it right that this is where I spend most of my life?" I am all for the trend of shorter hours and 4 day work weeks etc. I mean the economy is pretty screwed up right now, especially as I figure out my life of how I will get financial independence and not have to rely on anyone else. Which seems like rocket science wanting to be able to afford to live alone whether I want to or not. Seeing women who have the privilege to be part time or just not work because of their partners...they can be super vapid and out of touch with people who are not as privileged as them. So I was excited to get a bit out of touch with reality, and to actually experience being bored instead of constantly overstimulated. I gave it a go. But was also glad I had my workaholic phase to humble me. I lasted 3 months as just a wife. Maybe with a different soul this would be amazing for me. I'm not opposed to this in the future either, but would definitely be way more weary if such an opportunity presented its self in these hard economic times. But seriously I witnessed a lot of sexism in my marriage. Like some people think feminism just means women do everything now.

I think I understand you with a thought like why is there so much emphasis on me being a mom, but hardly any emphasis on husband's being a father? I think this dynamic will get better someday. Lots of women are sticking up for themselves that they are not going to work, do most of the child rearhing and cook and clean.

So many people said to me for wanting to leave him "well his job is very hard" I was teacher for 4 years. Why is his job superior to mine!? Both of our jobs are important and come with their own personal sacrifices for being in our fields. It makes me sick that people still think men are the king because they work even though lots of women are surpassing men in career fields now.

I give you a lot of props though for not using kids as a reason to settle, like I did. We were going to try to have kids next year. It totally bit me in the arse when it took me too long to realize that I will not be properly cared for by this person. I talked to another nurse at the hospital who was like me only she was in her mid 30's so she got cracking with him...but then settled for a partner who started off just emotionally abusive than physically abusive.
The biological clock talk with women is not invalid. BUT this seriously can scare women into not being picky enough. I thought my clock was ticking at 25 years old. Jesus Christ. Now I don't care if I ever have kids or just adopt. I just want peace and joy. I don't even care if I get knocked up. If I am meant to be tied to the father or not...the one thing is certain that fate does want me to have a child. I am open to adopting too. If I was in a place to provide that and felt up for it, I have two degrees in early childhood.

I've tried being boring, boring doesn't like me or want me.

posted December 07, 2022 04:38 PM            

My symptoms are improving. I have jello legs. I am down to 109 pounds when I got weighed at my Drs. yesterday. I haven't ate well in many months because I was so "sick."

I've been eating bread. It's so liberating and comforting.

My next Dr to see next week is booked solid until January. So I gotta find different referrals. With everything going on in my life that needs to be done, health comes first. This should probably be like my new motto for the rest of my life.

I think my mojo wants to come back because I feel like listening to my acid punk music again.

posted December 08, 2022 10:06 AM            

Since Jupiter went direct when there was Sag stellium I've been having victory after victory.

posted December 08, 2022 12:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
I gotta speak up for my wants and my needs.

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Of course.

quote:

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I kind of understand what you are saying. I have Venus Pisces though so there really is a part of me that just wants to submit to man. And be all like I'm your wife and mother of your kids teehee. Pardon my jadedness, but men suck at being in charge making me feel unable to submit to them. I made that mistake at first since I moved in with husband.

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Big mistake. To be frank, I do not have any married friends or newly married friends but I have observed from afar, some women doing the same. They get married and think they need to become the wife, which erroneously to them, means doing everything (not just working but also taking care of chores), which then builds resentment.
Also, they stop doing their own thing. It must be nice to be married and spend a lot of time together but, I sense that some women lose themselves and isolate themselves and later on, feel suffocated.

quote:

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I mean the economy is pretty screwed up right now, especially as I figure out my life of how I will get financial independence and not have to rely on anyone else. Which seems like rocket science wanting to be able to afford to live alone whether I want to or not.

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That is great. I wish more women did that in their 20s and 30s. Honestly, I strongly believe that if more women knew what they were capable of, they would not rush so much into marriage or have the topic of marriage so heavily in their minds.
In my case, I left my parents' home as a teen and have travelled often on my own and just done a lot.
All of this has made me think very little about having children or marrying. When one is able to do so much and one is financially independent, it is harder to feel like one needs a man to meet professional and other personal goals.

So, something tells me that maybe, some women who have not have much world experience or doubt themselves about their power, just passively wait for a man to help them accomplish these things.
Instead of buying their own ticket, packing and travelling to South America, they will wait for their prince to take them to South America.

Also, single and childfree women are happier. Married men live longer but married women live shorter. In other words, a number of marriages involve the woman taking care of the babies and the big baby to their own detriment.

"Marriage helps husbands to an extra 1.7 years, but it knocks 1.4 years off the average wife's lifespan." - Study from Magdeburg University, Germany.

quote:

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Seeing women who have the privilege to be part time or just not work because of their partners...they can be super vapid and out of touch with people who are not as privileged as them.

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How many of these stay-at-home married women do you know? Are they happy? Does the earning spouse use money to control and manipulate? Are these earning spouses generous?
If something happened in the marriage, do these women have enough in their savings to leave and move on?

I am not sure, Stawr. I sense that no offence intended, some of these ideas are very illusionary.
I have met very few, very few women in these situations that are happy and actually have generous husbands who do not use money as a means of control.
I would not envy anything.

quote:

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The biological clock talk with women is not invalid. BUT this seriously can scare women into not being picky enough.

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This is a major problem and it is becoming worse in the US.
I see it often. Very peculiar articles that talk about the consequences of women having children later, which if you talk to a gynecologist, it is not a catastrophe as the media puts it. Women can have children just fine in their 30s and even in their 40s. Also, I find that women who have children later are more financially independent, which is more beneficial for the child as well.

What about the fact that as men get older, the baby is more likely to develop dementia, schizophrenia, and autism? You rarely read that. What you read are articles that seem to have an agenda of scaring women into having children by their 30s, which pushes women into marrying whoever is around before they turn 30. Then, a decade or less than a decade later, they are wondering what they married.

Also, there was an article published about women in STEM and other challenging careers: law, being more likely to suffer from mental health and in the workplace, etc. It was a poorly written article but more articles such as this are being published, which to me, is just another agenda to keep women down and make them doubt themselves instead of challenging themselves academically.

It is sad. With coronavirus, I was hoping that women would find their own power but in the end, it looks like nothing has changed.
Women are still desperate to have a man and be married. They still attach their self-worth to having a man and being married.

There is another side I have seen as well, however, women who want to be married and are very focused on the act of being married but do not think about what actually means to be happily married and making their marriage work. It is as if they think that marriage will always feel like the wedding and the honeymoon combined. They do not realise that these events are temporary, that the newlywed phase is temporary.

posted December 09, 2022 11:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
I will say at my last job people will say nice things behind the back too. But ugh yeah the whole busy body thing, it's like you really don't have any real problems, and this is a problem for you!? lol

Ugh I'm sorry about that. I like to up my blue to put out more trust worthy vibes sometimes. My boss use to like interrogate me every morning for years. I hear brown is a good color for leave me alone, trust me don't pay attention to me. Black is very don't touch me but can still give off villain vibes to people.

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I think I can put villain vibes with Scorpio in 1st, but I don’t really know how to work it right because of dang Libra and Neptune. It might be stupid. And I probably more confuse everybody by that lol But they might start to fight me. I usually don’t attract calm chill people.
I don’t wear much black when I need to socialize because I might go too much to gloomy and dark.

posted December 09, 2022 06:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Stawr:
[b] I will say at my last job people will say nice things behind the back too. But ugh yeah the whole busy body thing, it's like you really don't have any real problems, and this is a problem for you!? lol

Ugh I'm sorry about that. I like to up my blue to put out more trust worthy vibes sometimes. My boss use to like interrogate me every morning for years. I hear brown is a good color for leave me alone, trust me don't pay attention to me. Black is very don't touch me but can still give off villain vibes to people.

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There was a girl who could talk so smoothly. You cannot figure out whether she talks bad things. (Probably Venus Mercury) She was pretty controlling, but you cannot notice in the beginning how she controlled everything because she appeared and sounded nice in the right way and time. That’s talent. She didn’t have any official power status, she wasn’t full time also, but she had more influence than
some higher people. She almost always got her way. And my Scorpio stellium gives the opposite affect…

That girl actually supported me as I understood later. I didn’t get first why she accidentally started to talk **** about people (again in a very smooth way). But later I figured she did it to help me.Her support might cause another power struggle what didn’t play well for me.

I think I can put villain vibes with Scorpio in 1st, but I don’t really know how to work it right because of dang Libra and Neptune. It might be stupid. And I probably more confuse everybody by that lol But they might start to fight me. I usually don’t attract calm chill people.
I don’t wear much black when I need to socialize because I might go too much to gloomy and dark.

Sometimes it’s good when you finally get diagnosed after suffering years with unknown symptoms. At least, you know what to work with now. And you would know how to care about yourself better.
I also don’t eat bread, but I don’t really miss it , got used to substitutes. [/B][/QUOTE]

OMG I feel that. Right that's just life, it can take so much inner work for me to give a better reaction sometimes, but sometimes being petty is fun too. lol But yeah it's nice when people can talk about each others weird quirks in an endearing way. I don't mind breaking each others bawls either.

Oooo having Venus Mercury sounds like an awesome advantage. Now that I think of it my Venus sextiles my Mercury.
Aww this Mercury Taurus loves the Mercury Scorpio's.

My Scorpio is so there, but it's so hidden being in my 6th house and in the moon zone plus the rx pluto. When people have guessed my signs here when I posted photos ages ago. Scorpio was one of the last things guessed along with my Aries Sun lol. At least in my early 20's I gave off very strong Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Cancer vibes.

I am starting to attract for eccentric calm people. But I've been asked a number of times by my sister and our other friend..."where do you meet these people?"

I'm pretty sure I still look like a nerd and good girl when I wear black. Haha. But my navy blue was starting to become more of a staple for me in the last few years. I think that was good to put more of that energy out of "trust me, I got this, I'm an ADULT" vibes.

I love my dark reds too, but I feel like that kind of signals "I'm mature, and I'm also full of subtle passion rage, and I am plotting." lol

I am seeing my diagnosis as a huge relief. Really made me evaluate the people in my life too. Life is a jungle and I am thankful for modern medicine and technology. I had no idea you didn't eat bread. Kudos. Once my body heals, I'll have to see how I metabolize bread and evaluate how much carb intake works for me and my vanity if I even care anymore.

I couldn't of been GF on and off so long if it wasn't for potatoes.

posted December 09, 2022 06:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries Eagle:
Sun trine Sun
Moon sextile Sun

Since Jupiter went direct when there was Sag stellium I've been having victory after victory.

I'm planning to build a good physique for Spring so I'm going to spend a good amount of time in the gym this Winter.
🔥🏹

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posted December 09, 2022 10:47 PM            

Yeah nothing is happy go lucky all the time in relationships that's for sure. But it's how the people get though it that matters. I have gotten a lot of insight from getting a peep in to a variety of people's marriages. Lots of observations. No one is happy all the time, but I can really say a lot of people actually don't seem that happy at all. I really do see the stress that women are suffering with, including myself. There is a wee spark in my parents marriage. I did tell my mom at the concert last night "yeah, dad should step up the texting you more" She felt so heard when I told her that. But I will say my mom has this defense mechanism where she can never be wrong, and this just makes my dad shut down and avoid her. I don't know how other people do it, oh probably because in some ways their husband's are better than my husband in some ways. Which isn't saying much. lol

Marriage, romance, finding the one has always been so romantized for me. Disney Princess movies, knock of Disney romance movies. Oh the things that get romantized to people. For some it's marriage, careers, college, joining the military. Education was never romantized for me. Probably because I wasn't good and fast with all the subjects in school. I had a teacher ask me why I was so slow one time. Like why would I want more school after HS being in a place that tells me I'm not good enough most of the time and that something is wrong with me. WELL I came around with the college, and did it my way. Saturn Capricorn in the 9th house. I actually debated dropping out of my Bachelors program when I got the lead teacher position with just my associates . I decided to keep trucking, even though working and doing college at the same time can make me pretty miserable. Especially when I realize it really needs to be all up to me now.

I have seen how I have lost parts of myself. Hard to know what is what though exactly. I have had so many life transitions in the entirety of that relationship of 7 years. His family is also super demanding too. More demanding than mine, and I don't really see my family as demanding...unless my sister needs help with the kids. Careers and college can be quite sacrificing on leisure time too. But life is a cycle and nothing is permanent and the fun/hobbies can always come back. But I never romantized college campus life like other people. To each their own. But I do feel for the people who always wanted to do the dorm life but never could and stayed home...some of these people who didn't experience it seem to want to act like a college kid the rest of their life. I'm glad I did it my way. College dorm life sounds like adult day care hell to me. No regrets. I have not gone shooting once since being with my husband. I want to get back into it and not lose that part of my self. I've always had my own music tastes outside of the marriage. I think that's okay...but oh man I have bonded better with people who like the same kind of music that I do this year. It was very magical to be like, other people I know listen to this music too?! The thing though is that my husband has a lot of Virgo in his chart. That shadow side of Virgo is thinking they can change their partners into what they want. He really thought he could change my political beliefs, career field, my fashion. He never did. But one day it just all hit me like this person is evil, and I want nothing to do with them now, and is highly morally flawed, I can't get down with this anymore. My health and happiness needs to MATTER.

I seriously don't care about kids anymore and am leaving it up to the universe however it is to be done. I will always have a way to get my kid fix. Early Childhood related themes will always be a part of my life with my Jupiter Cancer conjunct asteroid Ceres. My NN Aquarius is conjunct asteroid child. My NN house 9 always blows my mind since 9th house is higher education and I have two Early Childhood degrees. But what really breaks my heart, is how to be a teacher these days you really have to be married or have rich parents. I hope this changes someday...I know attempts are starting to be made. But as I figure out a job that really can have me live in a "I don't need nobody" way...I might need to change fields or just relocate where things may be more "boring" but less out of "whack." In Texas with my degrees I am way to over qualified to be a preschool teacher. I saw that I was qualified to be a behavioral interventionalist. And pondered if I could tolerate doing something like that. With proper training, I think so...! But the question is do I want to be far away from everyone I already know and love? Stay tuned. lol

Towards the end I loved going off more with friends and family than spending time with him, and meeting new people, and would be annoyed if I had to bring my husband along with my friends towards the end. It was really started to feel like I was walking around with a wet blanket wherever we went.

Yeah while we have accomplished a lot of awesome dates and traveling with husband over the years. (if it was all bad all the time I wouldn't of wasted so much time) But yeah I have pepped talked myself like Pluto is still in your 9th house. You don't need the man. Go see your friends in other states...SC, FL, HI...okay the Hawaii is going to take a lot of saving. I am obsessed with saving money. I wonder how it will go being all on my own.
I'm not 100% opposed to living with someone again. But after what I've been though, I want it to be a want not a need. I'm not opposed to traveling with a "lover" in the future as long as they actually take joy in me being happy and are "supportive."

I think solo trips are important too. I took my first one when I was 18. I wasn't even legally allowed to get a hotel room at that age. But the hotel was right by my bank. But for big travel out of the country as I get my toes wet.... It doesn't need to be a man, but I would like to go with somebody I know family or friend/s perhads even a professional college, who knows with Uranus Uranusing all of my stuff. Maybe my attitude will change someday, but not right now. My husband and I were huge sucker magnets in Cancun on our first day there. Like they are on a whole different level at their airports. Someone there flagged us down and pretended they worked for costco, and lured us in with a free Mexican breakfast...but it was a time share trap. I was so 9!ssed.

I really see how I am growing into my Saturn energy. I have gone off on my own when husband is working. And with the "social" I have in my chart. I do kind of have no problem just showing up on my own being like "Hi everybody" and chat people up but also take time to mind my business.

I kind of had a joke fantasy today about my funeral and having a dozen lovers show up to the funeral and pay their respects to me.

I get where you are coming from with women with out children being happier. Once a child is the commitment. You are no longer first. That is a sacrifice. I have some very strong opinions on child rearing these days. And as a non mom, but knows people with children and and early childhood professional for like 12 years now, I'm sure people love me judging. haha. I don't know if I should get into it right now. Both parents working. 70's pedos kind of ruined children being more free range. Plus this country is so law suit happy where everything has to be super safe. But then at the same time with children being more cooped up to be safe...the childhood obesity has been on the rise since the 2000's. Parents do not want to spank their children anymore. Yes valid. But then I see parents that really do not know what to do if their child is having a show down with them. "We are not a spanking family" Yes I can tell because you are their 8!tch, and you are actually hurting socially even more. Parents do not want to fight with their kids before work or after. I see how they give in if their child just wants junk food for breakfast. It makes me angry. Instead of establishing certain boundaries with their kids when they are bored or whatever, just throw them that ipad. I don't want to completely poo on kids using technology. But it's like either be firm with boundaries, or have them help set the table or something.

My sister thought she would be happy as a part time stay at home mom. But she really wasn't. She did not feel appreciated by her husband or nit pick Virgo mother in law. She felt more valued at her job all day, and having the kids in day care keeps her house cleaner than having a lazy nanny keeping the kids home.

I think it makes sense that older moms are more stable. Right apparently after 35 the pregnancy is "higher risk." But you really don't know unless you go for it. Another thing if I was told the child would be special needs or whatever. I would keep the kids, because I truly believe if a kid can be born in whatever condition they are in, they are meant to be here. That was scary too because when I talked about children with my husband he told me he would want me to get an abortion if we were told the child would be "exceptional" that is the new politically correct term for saying "special" these days. I know this stems from his own trauma and phycological abuse though. Because he has Asperger's and ADHD. So that really breaks my heart and like oh my God how can you say that. His parents really made him feel like he is a mistake, that should of never of been born.
I had this amazing emotionally supportive coworker. His mom had him when she was 45. I am so glad he is here! He really got me though hard times.

I am loving the data you are bringing to the table. Do you have 11th house placements?

No offense taken at all about women being delusional expecting to be a stay at home mom. Especially in this economy. I have seen women get sad for wanting to be a stay at home mom, and their husband is all like no way all the finances are not going to fall on me. Especially with the way people have been encouraged to rack up credit card debt and student loans that are impossible to pay off. I really do want to be a stay at home mom when they child is very little. I hope maternity and paternity leave improves in this country. Like two months on average to stay home with a new baby is just so inhuman to me. Like people will pretty much be spending most of their life in a building anyways. Can't people have more bonding time with their itzy bitzies? The parent child bond is so critical in the child's earliest years. I don't want someone else raising my hypothetical child when they are so small. Like what's the point of having a kid then? To each their own, but that is my strong opinion. Ideally I would not want them in preschool until they are two in a half. Part time. I see how the toddler preschool classes can make a difference in the 3 year old program. Compared to 3 year olds in preschool for the first time. My husband supported this. But yeah...it just started hitting me harder and harder how unhappy I was with him. Thinking about how we would supposedly bring a child into this world next year when I am this dissatisfied with my spouse. My husband does like to be playful with kids. He would teach them to be responsible like his parents did with him too. BUT I dodged a bullet because he learned to psychologically abuse people, because of his parents as his earliest role models. My nephew loves him. When he comes over I don't even exist. lol But one time in the other room I heard my husband call my nephew "slow." To this day I regret not walking into the room and slapping my husband's face in front of my nephew. I told my sister this too, because she think's he is "great" while knowing a lot of our issues. She was like it's fine Stawr, we know our son is smart. But I was like no that is not okay at all self esteem is so critical up to the age of 5 or 8 years old I forgot. She does appreciate my regrets of not slapping him though. I seriously dodged a bullet not getting any of those miserable genes in our hypothetical child.

The women I know like this, some are definitely happier than others. But I wholeheartedly agree that it is a risk! And that is a HUGE element of trust. It seems to really work out for some. And absolutely not for others. It's gambling.

I have been concerned when women say they want to be a stay at home mom. Because that expectation involves someone else's free will. I know a woman who listened to her parents that a man would just take care of her because she is pretty. This has not worked out for her at all. She is doing what she needs but see is full of sorrow that her parents were wrong. It's really pitiful. But she's learned.

I've had a lot of 6th house 10th house transits over the years. While I fooled around a lot in my early 20's. No regrets I think it's something I needed to get out of my system. I really buckled down in my late 20's. With working. I'm impressed and proud. I had an easier time working and playing hard before my Saturn return. But working so hard closer to my Saturn return really could make me feel like I was in some kind of hostile hell hole dystopia at times. So seeing these other women that have the privilege to "not need this job" because of spouse or whatever. They were less likely to be exploited on the job. There is really something "liberating" about having that "I DON'T need this job." I loved when I got that attitude my last two years at previous job. When I finished college too, that helped me have more of a "I don't need this job too" Because my boss kicked me so much when I was down. Like lady you nit pick me, when I go home my time is not my own. I go home and type essays and do it all again.

I am so fortunate to have Jupiter exalted in Cancer. I have always had family to fall back on. I like to brag about saving money. But I also have to check my privilege too. I notice people a bit older than me who have Jupiter Cancer retrograde have parents who struggle from their family being "broken."

I left with 3k in my own personal savings. Before I quit my job I had 7k in my personal savings. I had enough in my personal checking for filling up on gas. Holy moly. Then crashed at my sisters and then my parents, and then the hospital and then my parents.

Good thing I'm still on his insurance. In my biased opinion. He owes me.

The astro energy has been weird with pushing though with this divorce. Health first. I am physically healing everyday. Doing my best to be patient. Don't do anything until Mars goes direct? Come on! Baby steps. Weird energy, being humble to trust the timing of everything in my life journey.

Oh and my husband tried to dick around with my monthly allowance. I did not listen and took the full amount out of our joined checking account into my personal checking. Because his reasoning being it was pretty cruel.

Thanks to me being an idiot though it has really opened my eyes. Not everyone can fall back on family. I really see the importance of people having a guest bedroom after going though something like this. I really hope I have the funds to have a spare room in case someone needs my help someday.

The first person I want to help when I get back on my feet, is my best friend. She wanted a divorce well before I knew I wanted one. Her partner blows all their money making it impossible for her to save w/ two children. I gave her 450 dollars once. I told her, if I couldn't do it I wouldn't. If I need the money paid back to me than I shouldn't. That's my belief. That money is really nothing for her situation gas, groceries with out going flat broke for a week. She wishes she could do what I am doing right now. And I told her that when I get back on my feet I will help her more.

Oh the honey moon was over a week into our marriage. But we took our actual honeymoon 9 months after being married. I am hella grateful for Cancun. But I am also hella grateful for not wasting anymore of my life with him.

posted December 10, 2022 01:20 AM            

Saturn is always interesting. Saturn is kind of the opposite of liberation/Uranus. Liberation is naked. lol Saturn says cover up.

Having Saturn in Aquarius has been pretty unpredictable. My weight has fluctuated allover the place. When it was in the earlier degrees. I had more time for "fitness." I been mainly easting GF or organic bread. But I snacked at night. I cut down on smoking a lot too, having some temporary stress relief. I was around 130 pounds around my wedding. I'm okay with that. I've been slimmer but I've also been heavier.

But I ended having so much **** hit the fan after being married. I stopped snacking at night since my condo had cockroaches. I've heard the advice not to snack at night. Once I saw how much weight I lost from a messed up situation I wanted to keep it up. I was also starting to chain smoke, and drink more heavily from stress too. This was such a mind fuq for me. Because from life chaos I stopped my fitness routine and lost a lot of weight.

But also....

People have no idea when someone looses weight. Likes thanks I started chain smoking from stress, and can barely eat because where I live is disgusting.

As messed up as it is, I have been wearing crop tops and actually feeling confident. In the spring though summer. And felt good/hot in a two piece swim suit.

But once Saturn got closer to Mars sign...I am just wanting to live my life to the fullest. Started going to a gym with my teacher friends. Then I get asymptomatic covid again thanks to my mom. Have to be cooped up. I go back to the gym and my plantar fasciitis acts up so bad. But then I did finally get costume shoe insets and that's helped. I have been pickier about the type of shoes I buy. My sister has gifted me Birkenstock flip flops with arch support last Christmas. Light purple too. Such an Aquarius color.

Well now with my imploding health issues. All of my ridiculous statements are going out the window. Skin care, make up, hair styles, dressy fashion. Health first. I know that some people when they have life changing health events, it can change them for good. My assistant dressed the opposite as me. Never make up, hair in the pony, jeans, leggings, sweats. She said breaking her arm changed her. She is happy. When I scroll FB though I love looking at the ridiculous outfits. I miss it. I look forward to going out and really being seen. Not to say that this can't happen being more dressed down though too.

But though Saturn is in Aquarius there is still an element of liberation there. I am looking forward to purging all of the clothes my mother in law has given me over the years. I did not mind at all. I love being like yeah all the clothes given to me were free, and mixing it with my other pieces. My mom also implied that my sister in law hates me because she is "fat" and then her mom is giving me clothes in front of her that don't fit her. To pit us against each other and to psychologically bully her oldest daughter.

I kind of have that I can't complain about my mother in law, thing but here I am complaining about her.

I never appreciated her thinking I should value her own validation over mine. I stood up for myself, in front of her daughter who hates me and feels like she can't say "no" to her very much. Not being controlled by her validation. I never appreciated her thinking she knows my financial situation. And behaving entitled to me being a glorified baby sitter for her pets. Like she is doing me a favor. I would even do it for my mean sister in law. Until she got too rude. I did not appreciate their attitudes with wedding planning, or with how pushy they were with me getting covid vaccines. So after that I usually told them no to pet sitting.

Like it honestly turned into some kind of control game. With pet sitting. Like when my husband said our 1 year anniversary is the priority. She books a trip to Spain that week. So yeah we end up pet sitting. Ugh.

Also with how increasingly rude my sister in law got with me. The engagement really brought out the ugly in her. That's when I stopped saying yes to pet sitting for her. But being rude at my wedding rehearsal. Dead to me, I'll give you an actual reason to not like me now.

Mother in law sensed this and she would try to force us to spend more time together. Dumb idiot, like what is that going to accomplish. Too bad sister in law is dumb and lets her Cancer moon mom manipulate her emotions into pitting her against me. And that they think on top of their idoit son my husband thinks I'm going to put up with this **** as a grown woman. BBBBYYYYYEEEEEEE!

I really did get more defiant and rebellious in the last few months before leaving him. They like to make plans at the last minute and expect us to show up. Well I was kind of like screw you, I already made plans to get dinner with my second cousin. What does my mother in law do, she decides to get dinner right down the street from where my cousin and I are eating to like make a point or something.

My mother in law liked me instantly. Lucky I guess....but I think her giving me so many clothes was kind of like her way of marking her territory. She is a Venus Taurus. But she also has an overbearing personality. And it is overbearing how much clothes' I have from her. I am looking forward to purging them all. And the hand bags my sister in law gifted me, with her eyes rolled clearly not enjoying getting me nice gifts.

And just seeing my fashion sense when I get back out there more with this huge purge.

Getting rid of anything husband has gifted me clothes wise too. Even the Canadian goose jacket. I hope I get a pretty penny on that one. Even getting rid of all their clothes' I still have to many clothes, and I have bigger fish to fry with what I need money for....like getting my own place, spending time with good people and maybe eventually helping people.

Aquarius, Uranus can represent instability. The whole time with all the moving around I have clothes at various locations. Like some nutty squirrel. I have to get more of my clothes from the father in law's house. There will be more clothes over there to pawn too.

But yes with my health...I wore make up for the first time in a month. I've been trying to just braid my hair to not strain my body from brushing it too much. When I go out to be seen I have long flowing waves.

I am down to 109 pounds. I'm not even happy about. What good is being 109 pounds if the health is down? I do not feel sexy at all. But I enjoyed "flirting" with the ex ray doctor at the hospital.

Also I thought it was kind of funny that at the concert a few nights ago...that there was a tall man who seemed kind of thirsty for me in the crowd. Amy Grant concert. This man behind me was all like "excuse us...!!". And like felt his hand up my back. My back but still. I was kind of just like okay...this person really thinks I got it going on with my black coat and my goth combat boots and my glasses and flowy hair. Like walking around in public is still wobbly as hell for me. And my stomach intestines are so inflamed still. I don't want anyone's d!ck near me unfortunately. Plus still married.

I also stopped wearing my wedding ring. I left it on my sisters fire place. I really don't give a **** right now. I'll eventually pawn it.

posted December 10, 2022 11:42 PM            

Oh boy, right now Uranus and NN are conjunct my Mercury. (now nn one degree away)
I see it! I told my dad's friend today to not tell me to take a breath and smile.

I also had something traumatic happen today that made me feel violated. About a few months ago a 70 year old man sent me a friend request. These things happen. I'll be mildly amused that some rando wants to be my friend on FB. I really question people that do this. For brief amusement I'll scroll their page to see what they are about. Well when I wake up today coffee, breakfast, start to scroll BF. I notice a notification that an old man liked a vacation album my sister tagged me in. I figure it's a thirsty dude for my mom with all the notary networking she does. This man commented on the album like "Hey I tried sending you a friend request. I like reading what you post online and you have a great smile." WOAH. I look at the person's profile and recognize it from a few months ago.
And I'm NOT even smiling in my FB profile picture!
But seriously what is wrong with this person's head? Me, someone you don't even KNOW did not accept your friend request. I THINK that's enough of an answer THAT I DON'T WANT to be your friend on FB! You look up my page again, find access to something public, like the one album that is not private because my sister made it 5 years ago. This album has my family, friends, husband, my little niece and nephew in the album. To openly publicly creep on me like that! Stay away from my family. (moon in Cancer theme?)

I messaged my sister to make the album private. She did. I deleted the guy's comment too.

But after that I put in my bio "I do not accept friend requests from people I don't know in real life. And no MLM messages please.

posted December 11, 2022 12:58 AM            

With out getting into everything I sounded off on this nurse. Gave the name, and appearance description, the circumstance and her word choices and tone.

posted December 11, 2022 12:15 PM            

He also has Venus/Mars in Aries in my 1st house square my natal Mercury/Moon and opp Mars. Pluto/Mars is parallel my Asc, Moon is parallel my Dsc.

I think we'll likely be fantastic friends. But he wants me to date him🤣. He behave in such a classic Aries way. Very pushy and insistent that "I am the one " for him. No, am not. I don't think so.

posted December 11, 2022 04:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Met a Pisces Sun/Moon conjunct squaring my Sun/Jup/Nep triple conjunction.

He also has Venus/Mars in Aries in my 1st house square my natal Mercury/Moon and opp Mars. Pluto/Mars is parallel my Asc, Moon is parallel my Dsc.

I think we'll likely be fantastic friends. But he wants me to date him🤣. He behave in such a classic Aries way. Very pushy and insistent that "I am the one " for him. No, am not. I don't think so.

I am flattered by the attention I am getting of late. First the Sag and now the Pisces. Keep em coming Universe. I am all for it sexiness I feel.😁😁😁

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woot-woot!!

I love Pisces mooners so much! They help me be less rough around the edges when I am w/ them, because they don't judge me too hard when I am and that mellows me out.

posted December 12, 2022 03:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
woot-woot!!

I love Pisces mooners so much! They help me be less rough around the edges when I am w/ them, because they don't judge me too hard when I am and that mellows me out.

I have never had a falling out w/ a Pisces moon, even if we aren't close anymore.

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